my husband wants a gun. i'm not so sure.

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
1739 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

If you have a strong gut urge to stay away from guns, don’t get a gun or you can let your husband get one and keep it locked in a digital safe. There are a lot of hunters where I am from and people would be pretty hard pressed to not find a gun in many homes, but I haven’t heard any horror stories of guns around here either.

Post # 4
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It sounds like you are more frightened by the gun than the people at the bar down the street. I suggest that you look at the actual crime rate first and see what is happening in your neighborhood since this bar has been there. If you don’t feel safe, perhaps get a home security system or something similar so you aren’t in the position to worry about a gun. If you decide a gun might be worth it, I suggest you and you SO take safety and training classes to see if it is the right method of protection for you. 

Post # 5
Member
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I know how you feel. Rather I get it, I was brought up in an environment that guns were to be feared. Then I dated a sheriff and well guns were in the house. He sat me down and taught me how to load and more specifically unload it. He then took me out and had me fire it a couple of times. It took away a lot of the fear. My husband was brought up around a lot of guns so he has a few guns. He showed me where all the guns were and that was that. I just know where the guns are and am extra careful.

I think taking the classes would be a very healthy step for everyone!

Post # 6
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d get a dog instead. Ha!

Post # 8
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Ok I know it isn’t as powerful or effective as a gun but would you be willing to get a taser?  I live in a gun household, grew up around them, most are in a safe but there are 2 in the house that we could get to easily and quickly.  My dad hated when my sister and I were alone or going somewhere iffy and couldn’t legally have gun because we were to young so he got us tasers.  They are high powered tasers and can knock a large man out so that we could get away.  I think you may be more comfortable with a taser and it can give your husband some peace of mind.  But you really shouldn’t get a gun if you aren’t comfortable around them because thats when they can be dangerous.

Post # 9
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@Stace126:  

Maybe you can look into a non-lethal weapon, such as a taser.  I’d get one of those if I were worried about security.  My FI owns a gun, but I’m definitely not in a hurry to handle it while it’s loaded. 

Post # 10
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

First off, if the gun has been put in a safe like they’re supposed to, that child never would have knocked it down and been killed. Be smart about owning a gun, keep the SAFETY ON, lock it up. If you don’t feel comfortable with it, don’t let him tell you the pass code.

My dad owns a gun store and I am the 3rd of 4 children. There have been over 10 (way over 10) guns in my house ever since I was born, and they still are today. However I never see them because they are all locked up in the safe. Hand guns, rifles, all the sort. Bullets are something you find laying around my house on a regular basis. Never once have we had a gun scare or traumatic event because of our guns. My oldest brother is 27 years old and my younger sister is 14. 

 

As as long as you are responsible and educated, and you educate your kids too, there is nothing to be worried about. 

 

if you still feel uneasy about it, just talk to him about it and don’t get one. Honestly though, if you cut yourself with a butter knife, then isn’t it more dangerous that you have knives readily available in your drawers, than a gun locked up in a safe with the safety on?

Post # 11
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I agree with you OP, if you keep a gun as safetly as you can (unloaded, in a locked box with key/code) and are freaked out about something at the time, how on earth are you going to be able to get to it and load it in time? You aren’t, so then the solution is to keep it loaded  – but that’s just asking for trouble.

I think you’d be better off installing some sort of panic button that alerts the police/let’s off an awful alarm sound if you are really that worried. 

Post # 12
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ve pulled bullet casings out of the lint catcher in my family’s house, just to give you an idea of how I grew up… and I’m marrying into a family like that as well. A gun could provide a nice peace of mind. It may not be your cup of tea. Either way, I’d recommend what other PP’s have suggested and at least find a friend who has one, go shoot it, take some training classes… Reassess how you’re feeling once you’ve gotten a little more desensitized and familiar. A weapon isn’t any more dangerous than a car on the interstate. Both just require proper education and awareness. To me, it sounds like you have some pretty powerful and fear-inducing associations with guns that aren’t necessarily related to personal experience!

Let me also say: the news seems full of crazy sad stories because they get attention and emotional response. Rarely is a story reported about Jane driving safely to work, or Steve enjoying his hunting trip, or Sally who happily owned a pet monkey for 20 years until it died. Now, if Jane caused a semitruck to flip off a bridge, or Steve shot through someone’s sunroom window, or Sally’s monkey mauled the kid next door… that would be all over the media. Don’t let the minute minority of fluke accidents skew your perspective!

Post # 13
Hostess
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have a fingerprint safe next to my bed and my husband has one for his too. I put my index finger on the reader and it pops open, only my finger can open it. I suggest one of them. I know that some people say to store gun, clip, and ammo separately but in a situation would you have time to track everything down, take off trigger locks, and load it, all while scared? No, probably not. That’s why mine is loaded (with the safety on) in my safe at all times. We have a bunch more but they are all safety locked. 

Classes sound like a great option for you, and I highly recommend them. Make sure you take the gun you will have access to or rent one that is comparable so that you’re comfortable with all its actions. There are classes and instructors that specialize in women, which I also highly recommend. The are more educated in our structural differences and can better show you how to handle different situations. There are also classes in which they put you in real life situations and show you how to handle them. A ladies group I belong to took one of those a few months ago and the ladies loved it and really got some great training out of it. 

Guns are not that scary once you are confident in the proper handling of one. It like driving a car, the more you handle it the better you are using it. 

Post # 14
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Also, if you do decide to get one, there are plenty of ways to reach a happy medium of safely stored, but also accessible in case of emergency. A gun is harmless if its not racked. Even if its loaded, you can store it without a bullet in the chamber and falling off a shelf and even pulling the trigger won’t do a thing. If someone breaks in, pick it up, rack it, and you’re hot. You can also keep it in a case or cover to protect the trigger without making the gun inaccessible.

Tazers are also totally worth considering! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I felt the exact same way when I met my fiance. I was raised that guns were “bad” and only for criminals. My FI comes from a big family of hunters and men who shoot for sport, so he loves firearms. I was terrified, till the took me out shooting. I love knowing that if FI is at work I will be able to protect myself and our daughter. Our gun is safely stored and our daughter has been taught that guns are not for children (because a lot of our immediate family own guns and we want her to respect them from a young age) Its ok to have a healthy fear of a gun, and ultimately if it makes you so sick/anxious a gun is not for you, but i suggest trying (gun ranges anywhere will let you rent a gun to shoot at their range) before you completely rule them out.

Post # 16
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@tksjewelry:  WOW, a fingerprint safe sounds like an amazing solution to the whole “no time to load it, too unsafe to keep it loaded” conundrum. 

I never would have thought of that, mostly because I didn’t know fingerprint safes were a thing (though it makes complete sense that they exist). 

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