(Closed) My Husband wants to move, I dont know how I feel (long)

posted 6 years ago in Home
Post # 4
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

DId you tell him how you feel about moving? I think you need to weigh the pros and cons of staying, and the pros and cons of moving. It doesnt sound like moving somewhere where a natural disaster just happened would be a good idea, but i guess thats just me. This is a tough spot to be in, I really don’t know what better advice to give you

Post # 6
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Based on your post, it sounds like the main reason you don’t want to move is to stay near your family. I know it’s tough, but it doesn’t exactly seem fair to keep him away from his dream job and his family, just to stay near yours. If you move there, you’ll still have family nearby and it doesn’t sound like your family would really be *that* far away.

Post # 8
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hi there, it sounds like you are contemplating a move to Christchurch, that’s my husbands home town. I would think very hard before moving there and also try to visit before deciding to make the move. The atmosphere in cchurch at the moment is not great because of the earthquakes, the people who have lost their jobs and homes, and the fact that a lot of businesses are still closed. You might find this difficult to deal with in addition to moving away from your family.

Post # 9
2889 posts
Sugar bee

This sounds like a complicated situatuion, even moreso because of the earth quakes. First, it sounds like he has not been offered the dream job. I would suggest you talk to him and encourage him to apply for the dream job. In the time he applies, go visit his fmaily for a long weekend and check out the atmosphere. Spend time in the parts of the city which were destroyed, parts you would consider living, visit your potential office. Maybe even ask your boss if you could work from that office for a few days to get an idea of how it would be there (douing your job remotely if possible just to meet the people). If he is never offered the position, you have a non-issue. If he is offered the dream job, you will have both put in some research and gotten an idea of the city in order to make a more informed decision. Quality of life is important in any move and moving to a place where people are moving out, may put a damper on that. On the other hand, it does sound like there are some significant opprutunities for you both in this city.

Post # 10
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@slicey19:  I think this is great advice for the OP.  All of this is a non-issue until he is actually offered a job so get the balls rolling and that will give you time to do some more research.

Post # 12
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m in such a similar position but in the UK. Fiance will be without a job come September. I am not happy to leave my current job. I am very lucky in the role I am in but without a job for him, we can’t stay here. We’ve done everything we can to move to Australia as a compromise….I am only willing to give up my job and move away from my family if it’s to do something different like this but…he is NQ and therefore not getting mcuh feedback from down your end. Therefore we may just need to move to another city here in the UK….he wants to go to Manchester…it’s rainy, 3 hours from my family and I’d have no job in a place I don’t want to move to.

I totally get your dilemna….you want to but just can’t say a definite no as it’s unfair on them. I have very little advice but I’m keen to see what people advise….

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