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Hello Bees, I have to vent big time! My husband's old college friend is getting married out of state in Colorado. We just received her invitation and well, only his name was included on the envelope. My husband called to see if this was a mistake. Nope. She explained that they're trying to keep the wedding small and they're only inviting people close to them. My husband reminded her that he's married now, but no, she was firm on her decision. While I personally think this is rude (we've been married for 6 months and we had been dating for 6 years before that), I know what it's like to go through the headaches of the guest list. She has the right to invite who she wants to. But it doesn't mean I have to like it.
We recently had dinner with my husband's other college friend. He was surprised that I wasn't invited because he was...and was allowed to bring his girlfriend of three months! His girlfriend doesn't even know the friend getting married! His invite actually said "plus guest" and I'm not even invited to the wedding with my husband!
Both me and my husband are extremely hurt and when my husband phoned his friend about it, she was really insensitive. She explained that she allowed their other friend a guest because he's coming from out of state. When my husband reminded her that he's coming from out of state as well, she just covered it up with, "well, you'll know people there." My husband told her he wasn't going to the wedding without me. She just responded with, "Really? Does your wife have to go wherever you go? I can't believe you're not coming over this!"
I never had a problem with her before. Yeah, she is kind of brash, blunt and sarcastic. I'm not terribly close to this woman, but I considered her a friendly acquaintance through my husband. She's one of Facebook friends (she actually requested I be her friend!) We had a couple of the same college classes together, and she even came to our wedding...with her then boyfriend!
One thing I know for sure is that it is her wedding and she can invite who she wants to...on the same note, we can decline the invitation if we want as well. My question is this...are we being unreasonable in doing so?
I'd decline! Everybody knows that if one of your guests is married or engaged you invite the significant other. This lady is being rude and mean. Not somebody I'd want to be friends with, that's for sure.
DECLINE DECLINE DECLINE. You don't need crazy drama queens like that in your life. Someone's wife trumps someone's girlfriend every time. It's something called consideration for your guests.
I would definitely decline. You are lucky to have a husband that stand by you.
OMG That is so rude. I dont think that it is unreasonable that you decline the invitation. Maybe her FI will make things right.
De-cline. Wtf? I too am feeling the wedding-guest-list pains, and anyone that is in a "serious" relationship (or married, duh), gets to bring a guest. As a result, there are some friends that I am not inviting because I can't start to have my list spiral out of contol. This woman is not someone that I would want to be friends with....clearly she has some other issues, and you needn't be a part of it. If she invited your husband, you should be invited as well. Period.
DECLINE DUH! This girl obviously has issues. i cant even comprehend what she is doing 0-0;;
and I would put her on my "restricted" facebook list... B****
That happened to us too. We aren't married yet, but have been together for 9 1/2 years. Needless to say, my FI didn't have any problem declining the invitation. It would def not be rude of you to decline.
That's incredibly rude. I agree that she gets to have whomever she wants on her guest list, but it still calls for some sensitivity. I kept tons of people off my guest list but had clear categorical rules "No one whom I've not spoken to in 3 years," "No 'and guests' or gf/bf unless the invitee is cohabitating," etc. Then I enforced those rules pretty uniformly. I say DECLINE!
Yeah, that is not ok. No +1's at all for a small wedding is ok, but asking someone's Gf of 3 months and not another dude's wife? That is so rude.
I would decline. Also, since she seems to twist your husband's words and attack him when he calls, I would write an email. Just to make it clear that it's not an issue of him not going anywhere without you, but that it is rude to treat guests like that. I would also include a link to this thread :)
I think it was very insensitive of her and you should respectfully decline. I would completely understand if the other friend's girlfriend hadn't been invited... but it's ludicrous that a girlfriend of 3 months was chosen for the guest list over a wife of a guest!
Thats really rude. If i were your DH I would decline. If shes making such a big deal about not wanting you there, then I would take it as a major hint lol
Absolutely decline. There's a huge difference b/tw not giving plus ones to keep numbers down and not inviting spouses - esp since she did allow some plus ones! I'm sorry!
No. Even if it was a small wedding, she is required to invite married couples together. You should decline, and try to distance yourself from these people.
Very rude. Andthen she's trying to push it on your husband like he's being inconsiderate for wanting his wife to accompany him? DECLINE. And I personally would not send a gift or a card for their rudeness.
I would definitely decline because of her rudeness. Ughhhh!
Totally rude. Sounds like you and your husband are on the same page and he should definitely decline. Though I would send a card just so that you guys can come out of it feeling like the bigger people, though I would be really tempted to not send anything.
Definitely decline. I can't believe she said, "Does your wife have to go wherever you go?" This woman has no class.
That is so rude! I agree with the decline and delete...but maybe just restricted so she doesn't notice as quickly
That's just straight up rude! I would decline and seriously question why either of you are friends (acquaintances) with her. It doesn't matter if it's out of state or in the next town over, you're his WIFE and she should respect that. Either invite both of you or none of you.
Ed note: This is coming from someone who just finished their guest list, so I'm not unsympathetic towards the "numbers issue"...I just know tacky when I see it! Cheers to you for being so positive!!
Decline Decline Decline.
She doesn't even have good reasoning. I'm sure the other friend who is bringing his girlfriend of 3 months will know people there too.
Wow, I'm with everyone else. Especially after finding out about the girlfriend that got invited! I understand that it is her guest list, but some etiquette rules really should NOT be broken.
Wow! You should definitely decline the invitation! That bride sure has nerve. I mean that is totally rude and poor etiquette.
Edit: Decline, with a letter giving her a piece of your mind!
I agree that you should just decline. I "might" be able to understand if the other friend's gf wasn't invited. But not really. She attended your wedding. I think she's insulting your marriage.
Another vote for decline. I've been trying to think of a possible devil's advocate scenario on this one, and I can't come up with anything. I'm sorry your dealing with this :(
I'm just happy to hear that your husband stood up for you and declined! That's absolutely insensitive. Weddings are celebrations of marriages-it's ridiculous that you as his wife were not invited. I get really tired of hearing people say "well, our wedding is just too small for you to invite your SO..." Yes, not every SO has to be invited. But when you start excluding people's spouses, you've gone too far!
She is being ridiculous. Your husband has every right to decline and I hope he does :-)
DECLINE. That's terribly rude and selfish. When we did our guest list, if one of our guests was married, their husband/wife was AUTOMATICALLY invited.
Guest list are a nightmare, but that's ridic. I hope your husband doesn't go!
Wow. She's got some nerve!!! If that happened to us, we'd end the friendship right then and there.
Awww, that really sucks! I would not go to an out-of-state wedding without my FI-- that's pretty ridiculous.
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