- 2 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
Hi Bees. I just wanted to write this post about my experience with TTC and to give hope to others.
My whole family has had difficulties/problems in the fertility world. My mother had miscarriages, a difficult time conceiving my sister and I, and most likely endometriosis, although not as diagnosable back then as it is today (yes, I know it is still difficult to diagnose today). My sister has stage 4/5 endometriosis, had 2 unsuccessful rounds of IVF, and waiting patiently in the adoption process. I myself was so fearful that I would face the same problems. I am 28, and had been on BC for 10 years before my DH and I decided to start TTC. In my younger days, I also had a LEEP procedure done to take out “pre-cancerous” looking cells off my cervix, which some doctors say can lessen your chance of conceiving successfully/easily.
As the months passed by that I was not on BC, and I was temping and charting I started losing hope. I just knew that it would be a long journey for me. All those years of paying for BC and taking it every single day seemed so stupid. Even though through charting my cycle seemed normal and I was ovulating with a good LP, still no BFP for me. Then, all of the sudden I started ovulating a week later than normal. Why, I have no idea! I decided to try OPK’s in the beginning of March just to give it a shot. And then, 21 days later, I got a very faint BFP.
Cycle 6 ended up being the lucky cycle for us. I am currently 12w 2d today, and while I am very happy and consider myself very lucky I also have fears. I am now processing the “Why me?” part of my BFP. Normally people ask “Why me?” when something bad happens to them, but I am asking myself that question with “Why am I chosen to become a mother and not my sister/other family members/and friends who want to be a mother so desperately?” Why do I get to be a mom and other women don’t? I know this may seem like a strange struggle to some, but it is a struggle of mine. My life has certainly had ups and downs like everyone I am sure, and I don’t have an answer to my question right now. As I hope and pray that the next 6 months of pregnancy goes well, and that I have a healthy baby, I am also hoping that I may find an answer to my question.
For all of you ladies TTC, there is hope.