Post # 1
I am getting married in NJ (where I grew up) but Fiance and I are living out of the country. NJ is one of a handful of states that does not allow women to change their middle name to their maiden name, or make any other changes to the middle name, upon marriage. I would have to file in court – which not living in NJ is pretty much impossible for me to do. My middle name is long, impossible to spell, and I never use it so would be glad to get rid of it honestly. But I have no choice.
My personal preference would be FirstName MaidenName (replacing MiddleName) FIName because my name is already hyphenated. It is my father’s last name which is also hyphenated so I can’t break it apart and choose one half like most other people can.
So given that I can’t do my first choice, should I go with
FirstName MiddleName MaidenName: e.g. Mary Ann Smith-Jones
FirstName MiddleName FIName: e.g. Mary Ann Taylor
FirstName MiddleName MaidenName FIName: e.g. Mary Ann Smith-Jones Taylor
The third choice is closest to what I want but still seems like it would be very complicated to have three last names, two separated by a hyphen! Thoughts?
Post # 3
I agree, having three last names makes it overly complicated. Are you dead set against just taking FI’s name?
Post # 4
@abbie017: My last name comes from my grandfather who created it for his two sons. There are only 5 of us grandchildren with the last name. Even my mother (who married into the name) doesn’t think I should change it.
But I know that not having the same last name as our future kids would cause issues – especially as we are an interracial couple and if they kid turn out very fair-skinned people might think I an a nanny instead of the mother! Yes this has happened to family friends unfortunately.
My understanding is that if my last name is X-Y Z then I can choose to be Mrs Z or Ms X-Y wherever I want – the only places that will force me to use the full name would be on my drivers license and passport – so for air travel essentially. That’s why adding his name to the end of mine is appealing.
Post # 5
My friend for as long as I have known her has been (I’ll use your examples)
Mary Ann Jane Smith – Firstname Middlename Middlename Surname.
only a couple of months ago did she find out that she acyuaaly has 2 Surnames according to her birth certificate so
Mary Ann Jane Smith Brown – Firstname Middlename Middlename Surname Surname
no hyphens or anything.
although this doesnt particularly relate to your situation, just thought it might be nice for you to know that you wouldnt be alone in having multiple Surnames. and I like the idea of being able to choose which Surname to use in different situations, and it is something that I am considering doing too.
Hope you can work something out that you will be happy with!