Post # 1
My FI and I applied for a K-1 fiance visa when we got engaged last fall. I was living with him in his country at the time, but for multiple reasons needed to return to the U.S. and we had made the decision for him to join me. Average processing time for this type of visa is five months, so when I did move back without him in February, I assumed the visa would be approved and he would be here with me within 2-3 months.
Well, the process has taking significantly longer for us than either imagined. There is some delay, and we are not sure if or when the visa will be approved. We have currently been living apart for six months, with only two visits in that time. At first, we managed ok, but as the time has passed and there continues to be no answer, we are both very depressed and it is taking a huge toll on our relationship. We are bickering and arguing a lot – almost everytime we talk it feels like.
The first few months of our engagement, I was so excited planning our wedding, reading wedding magazines, looking online. Now it’s been over a month since I’ve wanted to touch a magazine or think about anything wedding related. Not even knowing if or when we will be together makes me not care about the wedding anymore. I see friends with their fiances, decorating their houses together, going out to eat, visiting with friends, doing their registries together, having parties…and we can do none of that.
My FI seems to have some underlying anger since I was the one who wanted us to live in the U.S. and I think he blams me, deep down, for us being apart and for this visa nightmare. On the other hand, I have said I will move back to Mexico where he lives, but it is definitely not my top choice and I only want to do it if we know absolutely for sure the visa won’t go through. He seems to be mad about that, and he says he will be upset if I go back and hate it and am resentful of him. I just want him to be happy. I just want to be happy. I don’t want to spend all my weekends alone, not knowing if I’m ever going to be with my fiance.
We had a huge argument last night that ended in me sobbing and I just woke up this morning feeling terrible. I don’t even know what to do anymore. Should I just give up everything here and move back and risk being resentful? How long should we hold out for him to come here? How can we cope with this pain and misery?
Post # 3
Are you able to inquire into what is taking so long with his Visa application?
Also, I think the two of you need to focus on each other and not that application. Discuss the follow up on July 26, and then from July 26-August 26 unless something has changed discuss your wedding and your love for each other. Get back to the basics of loving each other and not about who will resent who. In the end if it does come down to it, if you both are more worried about who will be resentful then both of you probably will be. He is trying to give up his life and move there with you, be supportive of him because he knows this is what you want.
Post # 4
@merrylee: We have inquired and we are told that we are undergoing “background checks” and there is no time frame on when these will be completed. 🙁
Post # 5
Um we are in the midst of a K1 Visa too and im not aure where you got the 5 month estimate. I submitted the first part and it was recieved and we wont get the second notification for around 5 months and then have prob another 2-5 months waiting after that. Every estimate ive seen is at least 7 months…
We applied in may expect next paperwork sept-oct- hoping to book medicals/physicals nov/dec and move get married jan-mar next year..|Its a crazy long expensive process..not to mention frusturating.
Theres a website called visajourney you might want to look at if you havent already. Its an incredible resource with timelines support forums etc..
Post # 6
@JoshsTammy: Right – you say the wait for the second notifcation is about “five months”. We are waiting **TEN** months for that second notifcation. You filed in May? Imagine it being February of next year and you were still waiting. I bet you would be frustrated, too.
Even if we get approved tomorrow and the interview stage is another 2 months, it will be well over a year since we filed. Seven months estimate sounds like a dream come true. I knew when we got into this that was about average, so waiting well over a year was not in our plans and has been extremely painful. I hope to God you don’t have to wait this long.
I do know Visajourney – I am one of the last remaining filers still waiting for approval.
Post # 7
So sorry to hear about your long wait. I just filed my K-1 earlier this month. I’d keep checking on your case and try to get to a supervisor. After a certain period of time over the stated estimated time, I think you may qualify for an expedite.
Post # 8
I’m processing a K-1 as well and on VisaJourney. You might want to consider contacting your congressman, which is what I have seem suggested when it’s taking *this* long. That’s a ridiculous timeframe and I’m so sorry it’s taking as long as it is. Unfortunately it’s just one of those things you can’t possibly control Try contacting your congressman to move things along, VJers might help you figure out exactly how to do that. I’m not sure if email or papermail would be appropriate.
Aside from that fact though, I feel your pain on the LDR engagement. I’ve spend a totaly of 6 days with my fiancé since he proposed and we’ve been engaged for months. I don’t have many words of advice, but try to remember it’s high stress for both of you and you need to come together to overcome, not take it out on each other.
I wish you the best of luck!! I’m so sorry this is happening.
Post # 9
@thursdayschild: @CaramelT: Thanks, ladies. Just to clarify, I have tried everything: multiple service requests, multiple talking with supervisors/tier 2, have been in contact with my congressman’s liaison to USCIS since April, InfoPass appointments. We have done absolutely everything that can be done. We were told we were in background checks and those cannot be expedited or waived through and to check back in six months.
Post # 10
🙁 I’m really sorry. LDR’s are stressful enough without this added stress of uncertainty. I unfortunately have no experience dealing with the visa issues, but it sounds like you know enough about that, so I won’t try to give you more advice on that issue. 🙂
So, I guess the only thing I can think of to help you is to, as difficult as it is, stay positive! Think about how strong this will make you as a couple. It sounds like you may be having some communication difficulties, especially with expectations. Call or webcam and each list your goals and wishes for this visa issue.
Talk about every possibility and make almost a ‘flow chart’ of possible outcomes. Also, start to make decisions because this can’t go on forever. It will have an end in 2 ways: either you get the visa, or you don’t and you make alternate plans. So, decide how long you’re both willing to wait, and decide what your back-up plan is.
Remember that you’re both going through the same emotions and frustrations, and while it’s easy to take it out on each other, allow the shared frustration to join you together since you’re BOTH going through it. Do you send letters, care packages, or little gifts, etc to each other? For us it’s a HUGE help and so romantic. It helps keep the spark alive from a distance.
I hope that helps. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, although I kind of understand. DH is in military training and we won’t be able to move together until it’s finished. We have no idea when that will be. We’ve been told to expect next summer, but it may be as far away as next winter. It sucks to not know, but you can only change your reaction to your situation and make sure you stay united as a couple.
Post # 11
I hate to hear about all you’re going through. Wait for 6 months?! They’ve got to be joking! I wish I had more ideas for you or could help you in some other way. I’m sure the not knowing or seeing an end in sight adds stress to the relationship. Please stay strong and although we don’t know each other know that I’m rooting for you to get that visa, SOON!