- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
I’m new here and I’m sorry that my very first post is to complain, but I really don’t know what to do. I’ve been with my fiance for over 3 years and I love him more than anything else in the world. Sure, we’ve had our issues (who doesn’t), but we’ve been working towards a deeper commitment and he’s really just my best friend. Well in comes his sister, a recent divorcee with the most umm intense personality ever. She was behind our first breakup when we were in college. Now she seems to think it’s her wedding. I thought at first that maybe she just wanted to be more involved, but once I did share some of my ideas on a few things, she went on to dismiss the dress that I purchased (it is a gorgeous gown by Priscilla of Boston, who could hate it?!), she went on to insist that our wedding invitations contain our photos (I found this tacky, but I held my tongue), she told me that their side of the family “would not want to come” so we were wasting our 40 plus spots that were reserved only for his family, and her favorite lines are “if it were my wedding…”
It’s not her wedding! I know that, but it’s still getting to me. She’s over 7 years my senior and so I feel awkward telling her to cut the crap, but more importantly I don’t want to ruin her relationship with her brother. So this was the more recent offense: We ordered save the dates and included some of our engagement photos on them. My entire family talked about what a wonderful couple he and I are…. how lovely I look… how handsome he looks… great choice in photographer and so on. Her response was to look at the card and wrinkle her nose. She did manage to say how nice her brother looked (which was good). Then she asked me why I used his middle name instead of his first on the card (I should add that HE has been using his middle name professionally since college). She then looked my face and said that she’d do my eyebrows. I must note that she went on to straddle me while we were watching television and PLUCKED MY EYEBROWS in front of my fiance. I didn’t say anything because again trying to keep the peace thinking that I could grow them back, but I’m trying not to have an awkward wedding since his family tends to band together regardless of whether one of them is in the wrong. I politely asked if she could leave them thicker because I love the classy look. She made sure to mention how she could have done my eyebrows better and how I should make them thinner. I was really embarrassed that she had blatantly critiqued my appearance in front of my fiance. To add to it, she proceeded to call my fiance the next day and ask him if he was sure and how she felt he was changing. He told her thanks, but he’s sure and to cool it… but I’m really worried that she’ll say or do something on our wedding day and make me cry again or worse yet she’ll come between us.
Is anyone out there dealing with something similar and how do you cope? I don’t want to alienate myself or my fiance from her, but I don’t think that I should be brought to tears every time she’s around. HELP!