(Closed) My life coach hasn't called back, advice please

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

What if you presented it upfront as you needing to slow down on the changes for the moment. Apologize for not being as compromising as you would like, but acknowledge to him that you just need a moments pause as far as changing anything else. 

Then you can make it more of a choice “either we can slow down on the coaching for the moment OR we can use this breathing time as the needed space to explore some other things we may have been putting off.” And let the conversation go from there. That way it’s not so much “we need to do this” but rather “let’s make a decision together about where to go from here”. 

Post # 4
Member
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I thought about this, and I hope you don’t mind, but I asked DH, since I thought some male perspective might be good.

He said you were right in starting off with an apology, that it should be an “I’m sorry, and this is why I’m sorry”.  

Then, he suggested that  you just ask your husband for the help.  If you say something like “I’m having a hard time coping with all of the change, so it would really help me if we could shift focus to some stuff from your childhood so I can have some time to play catch-up.”  

He said if there was the apology, and then the request for help, that would be the best way to approach HIM.  Of course you know your DH best, but it sounds reasonable to me.

Post # 5
Member
2403 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wait. Is your life coach a therapist? Because this is something you need to discuss with someone who specializes in couples counseling, not on organizing your schedules. 

Also, if you need to discuss this with a life coach, then you may need to look at a deeper problem that you may have. You should be able to be “uncoached” when talking to your spouse, especially if you have been married for awhile. Yes, it may be unpleasant and cause friction, but having things planned and coached is not going to help you actually listen to the conversation or react in the moment. 

Post # 7
Member
2403 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ok. Good luck. Hopefully you will hear back from him or can go off book and have the conversation using the tips you’ve picked up from him. 

Post # 8
Member
4328 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@MrsFuzzyFace:  If your DH is unwilling, why not let your next session be about HOW to implement the things you’re having some trouble digesting and coping with? That way you aren’t covering any NEW ground to backlog your brain with, but you’re getting to deal with what you already have under your belt. Practice makes perfect, and if you haven’t perfected the skills he’s imparted you with, why  not work at them a little?

Post # 10
Member
4328 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@MrsFuzzyFace:  Exactly! And it gives DH some time to warm up to the notion that he’s eventually got to face his past if he wants to move ahead.

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