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Wow, thanks for making my day so bright and cheery male co-worker. You could stand to lose a little weight too, d*ck. God, why are people so freaking rude? Like I'm not sensitive enough about the issue, you have to go and point it out? No wonder your wife divorced you.
Now, I have to walk past him again to fix my makeup.... awesome.
WOW I am so sorry he said that to you!?! Were you arguing? Was he joking? Was it just out of the blue random comment?
Where's he at, I'm gonna go kick him!!!!!!!!!
I would have probably retorted yes and size definitely does matter, or at least that's what your wife told me before she bought her dildo. *okay that was sooo mean*
Wow I am sorry
Joke or serious...that was 100% out of line
He is a jerk
easier said than done...but try to not take it to heart
Is he balding? If so, when you walk by you can say "Hey (insert name), I just noticed how thin your hair is getting up top!" And keep on going. Disclaimer, I know I would never actually do something like that, but I love imagining ways to give people a taste of their own medicine!
Um, he just outright said you were fat?! What a pr*ck!
ETA: I agree with hotchild. Call HR or shoot them an email. Not something you say to a co-worker.
You should say "It's better than being pencil-thin, at least, that's what I've heard." See how he likes it.
Wow. Yeah, I would definitely report him. What an out-of-line dick. I am so sorry!
It was pretty out of the blue. I had gotten back from going to the bathroom and he said he had a question, I said ok, and walked over to his desk. He then said, "No, it's mean, I shouldn't." The girl who sits next to him looked at me and I was like, "No, go ahead, you called me over here now I'm curious." Then he said, "Do you have a girdle, or corset or something? Cuz it kind of looks like you need one today."
The problem with HR is that I am a contractor for the government, so my HR department doesn't handle things like this. He's an actual government employee, so I would have to go through his HR department. Kind of a pain in the ass. Not sure what I will do. I may talk to our mutual boss about it.
What is your job situation: do you have to work with this guy at all, or does he have influence over people who manage you?
I would definitely talk to your boss about all this, but only if you have job security and the boss has the power to achieve some sort of justice.
OMGOMGOMG. What he said to you actually strikes me as WAY worse than "you could stand to lose some weight." And he just called you over out of the blue? Absolutely UNACCEPTABLE. Rude, mean, immature, cruel, horrifyingly insensitive...he needs to be reported and immediately. I would also say something to him myself, along the lines of, "What you said was very hurtful, but I'm trying not be angry about it, because there must be something awful going on in your life to cause you to be that cruel to another person. I hope you get that figured out so that you can stop taking out your pain on other people." What. A. Jerk.
That wasn't like, a verbal diarrhea in friendly convo. That was like, hi, I'm going out of my way to make you feel shitty.
I would get his HR person's information and just report it, say you'd like it on record in case it happens again and that they can choose to handle it if they like.
He didn't just call you fat, he also commented on your underwear. That's completely beyond appropriate. That's sexual harrassment. I would say to him, "It is never, ever ok to talk about my body." then I would report him to his HR immediately.
WOW. My jaw just dropped when I read what he said about the girdle. Literally.
He cannot get away with that. I agree with the others - he needs to be reported to someone. I am so sorry!
Um, wow. Ridiculous.
I would casually mention it to your mutual boss.
And next time, remind him he's no Brad Pitt either. I mean really! Or, sarcastically say something about the ex wife. I do stuff like that and I don't care! Fight fire with fire. It lets them know they can't walk all over you and say stuff just to make themsselves feel better. I've had people comment about my weight before (or about my husband being unattractive) and after a few of those, i've learned it just works better if you SAY something.
"you need a girdle or something?!" I mean, WTF is his deal!?
Shoot. I"d march over there and say, "you know what buddy, I brushed off your comment. BUt now that I think about it, I just want you to know that that was incredibly rude and is only a measure of what poor character you have. And last time I checked, you aren't exactly Type A beef so keep your nasty comments to yourself next time".
I agree with Mr. Bee in conjunction with HotChild!
Definitely a Jack@ss!
I would definetly go to his HR and tell him that he is completely rude to you. If you have to work with him quite a bit, you need to fix this because otherwise it might just get worse.
Thanks guys. You have def made me feel better about the situation. I just couldn't believe he did that! Esp since we have never had a problem before, and we get along pretty well normally. I mean we even loan each other books for crying out loud! He doesn't have any seniority or anything over me. He's the admin assistant and I deal with travel. We have the same boss, so I think I will mention it to her tomorrow. She's gone for the day because of the weather.
That's messed up. Like, fubar messed up. Who does that??? was he high? Good grief.
@cre: LOL!!
I would definately call HR on that comment, it is sexual harassement and its disgusting. I mean did he seriously ask you about undergarments and then suggest you buy one b/c of your figure. Fuck that! You don't need that shit, and I am tired of people thinking there is only one kind of beautiful. You are beautiful! Do you hear me? BEAUTIFUL... fuck that jerk, and call HR.
My day just keeps getting better! A different male co-worker came by my office and asked me how I was, I said tired. And he asked if I had kids yet. I said no, that won't happen for a long time. And he said, "No? Don't you want kids? I thought every woman wants kids?" I replied, "No, X, not every woman wants kids." And he was like, "Woah, calm down." Ugh.... I have just had it today with clueless insensitive men!
@Teaserama - Thank you, that's so sweet of you to say.
I would be very careful about going to HR, unless you are confident that it won't affect your job.
Sorry to be a buzz kill... it's just that keeping a job is such a priority in these tough times! If the job security is there, then by all means - talk informally to your boss or formally to HR!
I keep getting madder and madder about this. He needs to be reported. That's NOT acceptable work conversation.
Also- what did you do when he said that? Cuss at him, walk away, laugh it off? I'm interested to know.
HUGS you are so much better than this BS!
I bet the guy wears some really sexy poo-stained tighty whities to bed....alone....every night
Sorry Mr. Bee, but I have to disagree. It's he who should be worried about keeping his job, not her. That is the very definition of a "hostile work environment" and employers do not take kindly to staff who verbally abuse others.
@kjpugs - I told him it was out of line and walked away.
@mrbee - There's not much of a chance that I would lose my job. Nobody else knows how/can do my job.
He just came in and apologized. I told him it was horribly insensitive. he said it was a joke and that he wouldn't ever joke about it again. Doesn't matter if it was a joke or not, it was pretty freaking mean, and I'm upset about it. Since he apologized I'm thinking of just letting it drop, it's not worth the fight. And I'm afraid if I go to our mutual boss it will make things more awkward.
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