- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2017
I debated about posting this.
I decided to just go ahead and do it.
I was just married in 5 months ago to someone I have spent the last 10 years with (2 apart). We have gone through so much and things were seemingly perfect.
We were going to monthly counseling, but not for anything specific just as refreshers to keep us on solid ground since we have always had a hard time with our communication. It worked wonders and he was a wonderful husband and father.
Recently though I found out somethings that were being hidden from me and it has made it impossible for me to stay in this marriage. I placed full trust and love in him and after all of our years together and all of the hardship we have already faced I just can’t seem to wrap my mind around why the things he did even happened.
He has no explanation either and he has begged and pleaded and has apologized.
But for me, this isn’t about apologies. I have forgiven him, and I have accepted his apology. I still love him very much. But going into this a few years ago when we decided to really commit to our life together, there were a few things that I explained would be deal breakers. things that I knew I couldn’t get over. If those things happened he knew what would happen.
I am a firm believer in for better or for worse in sickness and in health. I really am. But I also am a firm believer in not being a fool. this isn’t the first time this has happened. Once a long time ago (9 years ago actually) something similar happened and it was initially what caused us to fall apart so badly. I have exhausted every resource I can think of (church, counseling, family, etc). I have decided that I just can’t stay in this anymore.
There is no animosity. He is my family. He will always be my family. This isn’t a bitter situation. Just a lot of hurt and broken trust and the hurt will heal in time. The broken trust is what ended our marriage though. I know he means it when he says he’s sorry, but sorry doesn’t always fix it ya know? and this was just it. me committing to my marriage and to him was a very final decision and there was just so much at stake. Im not someone who ever expected perfection. But there are a few things that there’s just no excuse for. he did one of those things.
I can’t say I’m happy. But Im very content with my decision. He is struggling and I’m supporting him as best as I can. We are supporting each other because we are both losing the life we wanted so badly. He understands though and wants nothing more than to remain positive towards each other and to continue to put god, and our son first.
I will still be on the boards because I have grown attached to this community. But for the sake of honesty, I felt it only right to post this.
I’m not one to bash someone on the internet so that’s why there are no details as to what exactly has gone down recently. And there won’t be.
P.s. I won’t be checking this thread until probably tomorrow morning. Or possibly this evening before bed. but I will be back 🙂