My marriage survived….lessons learned

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Hey there, I’m sorry you’re going through this, especially when the problem was from so many years ago. Did you agree to be exclusive while he was gone? Have you explained your hurt and doubt of his return? I’m not advocating prolonging the fight, but maybe a final, rational discussion can close up the issue for you two. I might even mention to him that bringing up the issue is hindering your current relationship. If I knew you IRL, I’d pull your husband aside and say, “Shakazulu loves you with her whole heart, and you have made a wonderful marriage and little one together! Please try not to focus on the past, but your present together!” Since I can’t do that, I’ll just send hugs and best wishes.

Post # 3
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1987

I am confused.  If your wedding was November 2004 then you have been married more than 9 years.  You have a couple of earlier posts from three years ago.  You were trying to buy a wedding dress for an ‘Aug 13’ wedding.  If you meant August 13th 2011 then you have been married less than 3 years.  If you meant August 2013 then you’ve been married less than a year.

 

 

Post # 4
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

This post is just odd altogether 

Post # 6
Member
8025 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

yes you should have told the truth from the beginning but you did not cheat on him, he strung you along for years! You had every right to date other people. Dont coddle his melt down about this too much- apologize for lying but thats it.

Post # 7
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

shakazulu:  Honestly, I believe this is a case where honesty was NOT the best policy. I’m glad you guys have managed to wind up together, though.

Post # 8
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

See a marriage counselor.  Now.

Post # 10
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I understand, and I’m sure you two are strong enough to get through this.

Post # 11
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1987

This post is odd.    

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  .
Post # 12
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

[content moderated for name calling]

Post # 13
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

shakazulu:  This isn’t cheating and in my mind, there was nothing to confess unless your conscience was dogging you. If you are not in a committed relationship or have had conversations that you’ll be monogamous, nothing wrong was done.

Post # 14
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I waited for him to return, he never did even though he promised he would.

If he broke his promise to return then you were not in any sort of monogamous relationship so it is difficult to see what sort of moral high ground he wants to occupy now. Especially since you had only met, in person, ONCE! That’s a long-distance infatuation. Not a relationship.

This is one of those occasions when the advice is simple. He has to get over it. Nothing good will come of raking up this ancient history.

 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  .
Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors