Post # 1
It’s come to my attention that my MIL has been house shopping for us behind our back. House shopping! We have no intentions of moving into a house, can’t afford to live in a house, have no need to live in a house (don’t have children or a dog) we never asked her to do this. She has been sharing our personal information with random sellers. She has these crazy delusions of babies running around in the backyard, Christmas lights, dinner parties, and she’s dictating to me that she wants us to do it this year. This is the life she wants us to have. Maybe she forgot that because of my medical condition I can’t have babies. We don’t celebrate/ decorate for Christmas. My husband hates Thanksgiving. Oh, and by the way I forgot to mention that she made an appointment to look at a house tomorrow without even asking me if I was available. Yep, just told me to try to get out of work early because the real estate agent was ready to see me.
I am in tears over this. I want to tell her to stop. I need to tell her to stop. How do I tell her to stop?!
Post # 3
@Aquaria: If she is not offering to pay for this house that she is envisioning for you then she needs to stop that nonsense right now! I am sorry, meddling MILs are the worst!
Post # 4
Tell her you appreciate the thought, but that you are not interesting in a house right now and tell her to cancel the appointment. Better yet, have your DH call her ASAP
Post # 5
What is your relationship like with your MIL (prior to this, obviously)? I would be livid as well! I would just not meet her tomorrow and tell her that you and your husband are not interested in buying right now. What does your husband think?!
Post # 6
Wow! I am so sorry this is happening to you! At this point sounds like the best thing you can do is be point blank honest with her! Sounds like she will not get the hint otherwise (unless of course she is BUYING you this housE–she really does not have a say!!). Geesh!
Post # 7
I would call the realtor and tell him or her that you have ZERO plans to buy a house, and if he/she wants to waste his/her time on a ghost chase with your delusional MIL, that is their choice, but you won’t be showing up.
Good God, she has some balls! Sorry you are having to deal with that kind of behavior. What does your hubby say about it all?
Post # 9
Have your DH deal with her first – I think it’s better to let blood deal with blood, instead of you getting in there as the inlaw (outlaw? ha!). If that doesn’t work, then you deal with her. “MIL, we are not buying a house, period. Do not share our personal information with anyone.” Then call the realtor and let them know that she is full of it. DO NOT show up for this appointment, or you will be adding fuel to the fire. If she continues on this way (especially sharing your information – what a huge invasion) then refuse to see her.
Maybe that sounds cold, but people like this need the gentleness of a 2×4.
Post # 10
Yeah, you definitely need to tell her (if you haven’t already) that you’re not interested in buying a house right now. What kind of information is she sharing with sellers? There’s some definite privacy issues there. I think your DH needs to have a talk with his mom ASAP. She shouldn’t be giving random people your personal info!
In the meantime, I would just ignore any appointments she’s made. You have no obligation to go to them.
Post # 11
@hotpinkbride: This is beyond meddling. I can tolerate meddling, but giving real estate agents our names, numbers, and incomes? HELL NO! Doing that shit behind our back is way out of line. When she called me about this 1/2 hour ago all I could say is “uh huh”, “uh huh”, “uh huh”. I was utterly speechless.
Post # 12
WTF. I’d tell the agent you are not buying a house any time soon. Why a realtor would even do that is beyond me. Your MIL is wasting the agents time. Does she plan on buying this house for you? If not, she needs to back off! You really shouldn’t even start looking at houses unless you’ve been preapproved for a mortgage. Since you obviously haven’t been through that process, sellers aren’t really going to be interested in you as a potential buyer.
Post # 13
This is your husband’s mother. Tell him to lay down the law with his mother.
Post # 15
@Aquaria: breath sweetie and calm so you can relax its not fair that you need to be stressed out at all you should not have to live someone elses life
live your life how you want to, ask your SO to say something to her don’t even deal with it ur self its not fair that they would expect you to be in the middle of that .
if you must grab the bull by the horns go for coffee with your MIL ur both gonna be able to ramain calmer in public and nicely thank her for taking the time to look but tell her a house is just not right for you as a couple, the space is daunting the up keep would be to much form a yard to added spaces to clean. Tell her you know she wants good things for you but you are both very happy where you are now and do not need to have a big move right now perhapse in a few years.
Post # 16
What a psycho! I’m sorry. Please don’t let this woman bully you. “No, I won’t be doing that.” should suffice. And your DH NEEDS TO STEP IN. What a loon. “Mom, we aren’t buying a house. It’s not up for discussion. The end.” Then don’t indulge her at all.
I’m sorry, I hope you and DH can put up a united front on this one. What a piece of work.
If it makes you feel any better, my FIL is totally insane. i just had to draw a really strict line and disengage last week after he basically threatened me among other things. Hang in there.