Post # 1
We are not planning on having kids in the near future, but pretty much everytime we see her, she asks us. She says she doesn’t want to be an old grandma. I’m 35, and one time she actually told me in regards to having kids, “You’re not getting any younger mija.” I’m tired of her asking.
I know I’m on the older side and do worry about health risks, but I definitely don’t think I’m too old and neither of us (me and my hubby) want to have kids before we’re ready. It’s a big responsibility to bring a child into the world! We just got married 6 months ago and want to settle into our marriage, I want to get my Master’s degree before we start trying (currently applying to programs), and we want to be financially ready.
How can I respectfully tell her to stop asking?
Post # 3
That’s tough. My husband and I aren’t quite 25, and my mother-in-law asks every time we see her when we are going to have kids. She even wants to prepare a room in her house for sleep-overs! Oh, and this was after telling her multiple times that it will likely be 5+ years before kids appear!
Anymore, I just say something like “We just got married! We’ll have kids when we’re ready!” And then quickly change the subject…
Post # 4
We’ve told her repeatedly that we’ll have kids when we’re ready, but she still keeps asking. =(
Any other advice?
Post # 5
Have your husband speak to her about it. If she doesnt listen when you tell her that you both arent ready, then thats all I can think to do. Have him sit her down and explain that it bothers both of you when she constantly nags about having grandchildren. She might not realize how much it bothers you (though clearly it does). Sometimes moms can be pushy and think that if they mention something enough, it will make you change your mind. Stand firm.
Post # 6
you have to be very blunt and honest and tell her that you do not want to hear from her anything about you having babies until you bring the subject up.
we are not planning on having children so we’ve told our parents, my mom was ok but his mom is very disappointed – my greek MIL had their priest tell me while at her sisters funeral that my role as a wife and woman is to create babies just as god intended *roll eyes*
Post # 7
@misschickpea: i told DH today that i’m tired of her asking. He said he just ignores it, and it doesn’t bother him. But it does bother me, so i feel like i need to say something.
@eloping: i prefer not to be so blunt because i know it’ll cause drama.
Post # 8
Here’s your perfect response to her when are you having kids question…
“When people stop asking.”
Post # 9
@Wonderstruck: haha, i thought of that. i will try it next time.
Here’s a few others that I thought of:
“When are you going to stop asking?”
“That question sounds familiar. Didn’t you ask us that already?” “Yes” “What did we say?” She lists our reasons. “There you go.”
“You already have grandkids from two of your other kids, and we’re already married so we’re closer to having kids than your youngest son. He’s the one you should be talking to.”
“What do you hope to accomplish by asking us that again?”
Post # 9
just say “it’s better we tell you when we are ready rather than you asking us repeatedly, again and agin”. Keep repeating your answer everytime she says it. Pushy people as a whole need to be dealt with like this. If she carries on stand up walk away and leave the room. She does not need to prepare. You and your husband need to prepare when you are ready without her supervision.
Post # 10
I think it is best just to keep saying “when we are ready,” and quickly change the subject… even if you have to keep doing it repeatedly. It may be annoying, but I think any other way could be taken the wrong way and it will be easier in the long run to just suck it up and try to not let it get to you too much.