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Does anyone else in the family seem concerned about this? Because that's a pretty scary and real issue there.... She should really be seeing a psychiatrist. Hearing voices and seeing things that aren't there is a very very serious psychological issue.
PS. She hates me because Im white, but still believes that shes a good Catholic.
Yes I agree. My fiancee just says things like, my mother is old and her mind is slipping... No one else seems to think that this is really not good.
@maybride2011: If she really is old, it could be dementia or Alzheimer's...I would encourage her to go see a doctor.
If she's 70, I wouldn't be surprised if her mind really is slipping due to dementia or Alzheimer's or something like hilsy85 said.
It seems like this isn't something that is being caused by her aging. I would have her checked out by a medical professional.
She specifically said, you're going to think Im crazy but Mary and Jesus talk to me.
My grandmother suffers from Alzheimers and she has never seen imaginary people or heard voices that aren't there. She was in a stage for a while where she sort of thought she was living in another era, but she never "saw" people that weren't there.
If your FMIL is older, her mind is slipping in another way, and is potentially schizophrenic, I would talk with her family doctor and have her moved into a nursing home where they are better able to take care of her. This behaviour is not a normal sign of aging.
@maybride2011: Ah, my mom does too. At least Mary she hasn't reached Jesus level yet. Most of the family knows she is crazy and I just ignore it. She isn't going to go see a medical health doctor because she's relgious-- plenty of saints have heard God too so trying to say she has a medical condition isn't going to get you anywhere with anyone religious.
I have two ways of dealing with this:
PHONE: I say "What? What? Could you say that again? You are breaking up. Could you move to a better spot. Yes I can hear you better there... no wait you are starting to fade out again. Can I call you later?"
IN PERSON: I ask a question that is totally random-- but one she has to answer like, "What time are you coming over next week?" or "Do you like this or this better, why?" I completely changed the subject. OR if worse comes to worse I talk ALOT about anything-- mostly pets because they are a neuteral subject I just refuse to shut up or be distracted until I leave. :D Just figure out how to distract her!!
Basically once you can get her off topic run with it. Even crazy people have sane parts of their personalities that you can cling to!
@bakerella: My grandmother had Alzheimers too and although she never saw people who weren't there, she would think that certain people were completely different individuals. So I thought maybe the OP's FMIL could be thinking that her neighbor and her co-worker are Mary and Jesus (or something like that).
My grandmother's mix-ups/confusion were never that out there (her's was more thinking my dad was her husband or her caretaker was her sister, etc) but I guess it could happen for some people, especially if they are particularly religious.
She could just be a little fanatical. My grandma swore that she saw guardian angels and she used to hold conversations with my deceased grandfather, but she was by no means crazy.
Hallucinations can be present in people with Alzheimer's (not say that's what she has, but people with Alzheimer's can have visual, auditory, and/or tactile hallucinations). It could also be regular old dementia, but if it were, I would expect her to exhibit cognitive deficits in other areas as well (frequent confusion, getting lost, etc). Is she a religious woman? And is she Hispanic/Latina? It might just be a cultural difference--some cultures view hearing/seeing God/Jesus/Mary as a blessing.
If she is cognizant of the fact that you will think she's crazy if she admits something to you, she isn't suffering from dementia.
I've known people who were always talking to gods and spirits and stuff. They weren't even old! If she's functional in all other ways, I think you can write this one off as just her faith.
@Mrs.KMM: Fair enough. My grandmother does that too. She'll think I'm my mom or my grandfather is her deceased son. But it sounded to me like the OP's FMIL is talking to invisible people. I've found with Alzheimers it's a regression to people they used to know in real life. My grandmother has never thought I was say... Marilyn Monroe, if that makes sense. If the OP's FMIL had ever met Mary or Jesus I'd be more likely to agree it could be Alzheimer's or something like that.
This sounds like a lot of cultural stuff. I agree that she is probably just fanatical. She probably thinks she is just uber spiritual. And hating you b/c you're white is just ignorance. Stubborn old lady it sounds like..
I agree with DanielleZara, in considering the cultural side to it. I work in a psychiatric institution, and much of what we deal with is talking about the diagnosis this person has, or the different symptoms that allow us to apply this or that label to them.
I think one of the challenges though, when looking strictly at the psychiatric perspective, is that culture is left out, which can be a significant part of who the person is. I don't think you said how long she's been believing Mary and Jesus talk to her (I'm sorry if I missed that information), though it could be a part of her upbringing, a part of her spiritual beliefs, and very normal in the community she was raised in.
I think in the United States, though it is a strongly religious country, there doesn't appear to be as much spiritualism as other areas, and ideas associated with that tend to get swept aside and or labeled as "crazy." Though, what I've learned to think and consider, at least in the work I do, is question the meaning behind the behaviors, and consider if it really is causing damage to the person. And though your MIL doesn't sound like the nicest person, it doesn't necessarily sound like she's sick. Especially if this is the norm for the community she comes from, or if she's been thinking this for awhile.
Some people really just hear voices (I used to, and mercifully, they were benign and I recognized them as overactive figments of my imagination. Honestly, I kind of miss them.) If the voices are benign, it's not USUALLY a problem.
Some people also use the "I talk to God" thing as a way to justify shoving their point of view down your throat. Elevating her "holiness" beyond "personal relationship to Christ" to "I totally gossip with his mom" may be her way of subconsciously justifying her behavior/attitude towards you.
Tell her that Mary was a mortal woman, and she probably shouldn't be communing with dead people.
Im a Christian and I believe you can feel Jesus' presence and "hear" him, like feeling convicted when you are about to do something your not supposed to. I cant really explain it. I believe Jesus can show you himself through dreams and visions but not in real life. Also, my father went through cancer and lived through the worst stage of it, God touched him so much and he would be sitting in the chair just talking to him out loud laughing and telling him how much he loved him and having a convo with Jesus lol. I believe he felt his presence and that was the way God was communicating with him :) Yall may think im crazy but its true!
I dont believe Mary talks to her and that Jesus talks outloud and she seems them, no! That is a little crazy! hahaha
You mentioned your FI used a bottle until he was 8. Are there any other things like that? Maybe not just focus on the part where she talks to Mary and Jesus, but there could be other things that could raise some flags. A bottle until age 8 is certainly a flag to me and I would be looking for other warning signs. It sounds like she could definitely use the advice of a medical professional, but I think your FI or her husband (boyfriend, SO) might have to be the ones to suggest that and actually get her there. I wouldn't feel it was my place if I were you.
To avoid answering her when she says things like that, I would just tell her that you have your own beliefs and you prefer to stick with them. You don't have to tell her what they are and you may or may not have any, but I noticed that sometimes, super religious people will lay off if they know that you believe in some sort of way. If that doesn't work, then just ignore her or change the subject like previous posters said.
Good luck.
I don't know what to say, but she does other things, like going to my florist and trying to change all my flowers behind my back and telling me that I must have kids cause her other son is too stupid to get married... These things arent normal... She also calls 87,000 times a day. My fiancee is really concerned that she is goin off the deep end, but then again she fed him a bottle till he was 8 and that was 20 years ago and she also yells at the TV when movies and TV shows are on thinking that its going to change the outcome. So Im not sure if she was always odd and he just didnt notice till he left the enviroment??
@maybride2011: You can't force her to have a doctor look at her or have her committed UNLESS she is a PHYSICAL danger to herself. My mom I'm pretty sure is manic-depressive--- causing her to live in a JUNKY place, fail to pay bills on time, fail to go to the dentist/doctor for basic things etc. She's also lost 6 jobs (every job except 1 that she has ever had since I've been around)-- I'm pretty sure because she has manic episodes at work. But NONE of that causes PHYSICAL harm to herself just financial and emotional harm--- so I can't force her to get evaluated and treated. I've looked into this.She denies that she has a problem and refuses to go to counseling.
In short, unless your FMIL is PHYSICALLY hurting herself, yelling at the tv, telling you mean things because of church beliefs, talking to mary and jesus, bottle feeding-- is nothing that could justify forcing her to get help (unless of course she wanted to do it on her own-- but most people like that enjoy living like that).
((hugs)) it sucks I know, I grew up with crazy.
@maybride2011: Others have suggested dementia. Another possibility is schizophrenia. I have a couple family members who have it and a high school friend. My family members have more auditory hallucinations/paranoia, but my friend started telling me in high school that he literally "saw Jesus" and they talked while he was working at Target. I thought he was joking around, but shortly after he told me that he was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
I dont think she is crazy, alot of people "talk" to religious figures like mary/jesus/ etc.. I agree that it sounds more of a cultural thing than actually being mentally ill
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My MIL thinks Mary and Jesus talk to her and she sees them. She also thinks that she has the power to change the weather by talking to them... My fiancee drank from a bottle till he was 8 because she is slightly nutso I think... How do I respond to her when she starts telling me to go to church because she speaks to Mary about how I should... Hmmmm.