My MIL won't call my daughter by her name.

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
715 posts
Busy bee

Wow, this is crazy. 

Have you had time for a talk with her? 

Is there a reason she is all against the name Aubrey? 

can you sit her down and explain that it’s your daughter, and you agreed to that name and you would very much prefer that she respect your choice?

Post # 4
8518 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

@JaylaKay:  O.O How weird.

Honestly, I’m pretty straight up when it comes to telling people off, and I’d probably tell her that if she couldnt call her by the right name, then she couldnt see her.

Post # 5
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

One of the things you could do is send out Birth Announcements… then at least everyone in your social circle (Family & Friends) will know the truth.

Mr & Mrs JaylaKay
are happy to announce
the birth of their Daughter

Aubrey Margrette


on December 3, 2013

In addition, you can add secondary info, like where the Baby was born… height & weight… who the Doctors were, and if she has any older siblings… and that Mom & Baby are both doing fine

(If you plan on doing a Newspaper Announcement let me know by PM, and I’ll give you the specific wording for your situation)

In truth…

Announcing her to the world, be it in the Newspaper Social Pages, or thru personalized notes (Notice I’ve indicated the Baby’s Nickname above in brackets… but you could certainly do the same with just Aubrey if that is what you intend to call her… so to show she’ll be known by her first name and not her second)… would certainly help to nip this issue in the bud.

Plain & simple your MIL is being a PITA

And someone at some point is going to have to tell her that if she continues


Hope this helps,


Post # 7
1745 posts
Bumble bee

Why not just have your FI talk to her and say “Hey, it really makes us uncomfortable when you do this. We gave her your mother’s name to honor her and you, but we chose Aubrey for her first name and it hurts us when you won’t use it.” ??

Post # 8
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think she’s being very disrespectful to you, and I would tell her straight up that if she can’t call her Aubrey then she can’t see her. Your fiancé can get over the ultimatum or fix the problem himself. 

Post # 9
2581 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

@JaylaKay:  I find it odd that your FI says it’s passive-agressive of you to exchange the blanket for one with the correct initial, but didn’t seem to think it was passive-aggressive of his mother to give you one with the wrong initial in the first place!


I agree with PP that you should really get your FI to sit your MIL down and explain to her that you want her to use Aubrey instead of Maggie. Maybe she can call her Maggie when your daughter is older, but when she’s still a baby, it may well confuse her to be called two different names!

Post # 11
918 posts
Busy bee

Option 1: Sit her down and talk to her.  Tell her that you’re really unhappy that she’s not calling her granddaughter by the first name that you as the parents have chosen, and that if you had wanted her to be known as Maggie then you would have given her that name as her first name.  Be respectful but firm.

Option 2: Buy Aubrey a whole lot of outfits like this to wear whenever she’s around extended family members –

Post # 13
918 posts
Busy bee

If she says it’s a special nickname, you’ll have to just say “no, Maggie is not a nickname for Aubrey.  If you want to give her a special nickname, you can call her Bree” (or something similar, if you don’t like “Bree”).  I’m really frustrated for you!  This would drive me up the wall.

Post # 14
1745 posts
Bumble bee

@JaylaKay:  Let it go? I mean, I don’t know how many options you have here. If you can’t convince her then maybe just let her have her ‘special nickname’ and just make sure nobody else ends up calling her that. You said she’s a splendid person otherwise. Maybe it really does make her THAT happy to use the name. I know it’s not her first name, but at least it’s her middle one. I know people who are called by their middle name by some family members.

Post # 15
15019 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

She thinks aubrey is modern!? Holy cow, this lady doesn’t know her history very well. 

I agree with the others, she’s the one being heavily passive aggressive and your husband is going to have to have a talk with her. 

Post # 16
5518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

Yea I would pull the “call her by her given name or you cant see her” card.  It’s very rude of her to say calling her “maggie” is a special nickname and continue to do it even though you mentioned how you feel about it.  It is not a nickname for Aubrey.  Besides, “special” nicknames are silly words not legitimate names such as munchkin, spot, Bo, etc.

Your FI should be firm with his mother.

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