(Closed) My MOH dropped the bomb! Vent about money!

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

At least she’s asking you to pay and for her to pay you back instead of saying she can’t afford and won’t come.  She probably really thought she could try to save and sometimes it’s embarrassing asking for help and she probably didn’t want to before and was really hoping that she could do it without asking for help.  It sucks, but she’ll pay you back!

Post # 4
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@icetea:  no, your not being a jerk. If she couldn’t come up with the funds she should have said something. She should have been putting money away each month for the tickets instead of going on a payment plan with you. She’s obviously important to you and you want her there. She shouldn’t be putting you in this situation, but now you must decide what to do.

Post # 5
Member
2336 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I agree, I’d cut her some slack. It does really suck, but I’m sure she thought that she’d be able to get the money together and was pretty embarrassed to have to ask for a loan.

That being said, please don’t pay for her flight unless you’re willing to write that money off as a gift later. No matter how close you are with someone, when it comes to money, especially an amount like $2k, it can really affect relationships. She may avoid paying it back for whatever reason, disagree on how much she still owes you, be unable to come up with payments on time, etc. That can cause a lot of resentment if you’re expecting that money back.

She’s your best friend. So if you want to pay for the flight, I think you should. But just don’t expect it back, no matter how honest, trustworthy, or loyal she is. Then if you don’t get it back, you still have your friendship, and if you do, it’s a nice surprise and you’ll have some extra spending money.

Post # 7
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@icetea:  It does suck, because she should have told you before.  But, I’m confident you will get out of it if you did once before.

Post # 9
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@icetea:  can she have someone watch her sons?? That’ll cut costs for you, and she probably doesn’t need them there since she’s your MOH and supposed to be attentive to you.

Post # 10
Member
8697 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@tampalove35:  I was thinking the same thing. Why do her sons need to come? How old are they? Are they in the wedding?

Post # 11
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

You never know what has happened in her life. Maybe she had saved some/all of the money and some unexpected expense just came up that she doesn’t want to discuss. I’ve had that happen to me before.

That being said I agree with Rachellemichelle…count the money as a gift (don’t tell her that!) and that way if you don’t get it back you won’t be upset and if you do it will be a nice bonus.

Post # 14
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@icetea:  fi and i have the exact same thing!!

gave over a years notice (around 18 months), offered to pay for flights and/or hotel multiple times  forr his best friend which was declined. and now its “oh i cant afford it, can i take you up on that”

er, bit hard now since you declined and so we didnt actually budget for it. but what can you do, its the best man. best man and MOH both pretty indispensable right?

bleugh!

and this is two weeks before the wedding, so the time frame is even worse

so i totally get where youre coming from!!!

Post # 16
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t think you are a jerk…I would probably just have her to step down…It is nice of you to loan her the money to come.

The topic ‘My MOH dropped the bomb! Vent about money!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors