- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2010
She hates weddings and everything that is associated with them. The thing is, we have been friends for 20 years (since Kindergarten) and she’s never said anything about hating weddings until I moved home 4 months ago and REALLY started my planning. We’ve been engaged since July 09 and I didn’t know any of this until January 2010.
It’s a combination of little remarks, negative attitude, and lack of enthusiasm/excitement/interest in the wedding that has me upset about this. She is my best friend, and I am living with her until the wedding, and we had a huge blowout yesterday because of how she’s acting towards me. She never has anything positive to say about it, I only hear remarks like “do I HAVE to stand up there next to you the whole time?” “do I HAVE to sit at the head table with you?” “do I HAVE to go to your shower” She threw a fit about having to go to the shower that my aunts threw for me last month, I basically had to beg her to go, and she was visibly annoyed the whole time.
She told me up front that if I wanted or needed her to do anything, I would need to specifically ask her, because she doesn’t know what she is supposed to do. Apparently it doesnt matter that I have sent her every wedding site ever at her request with duties of the Maid/Matron of Honor so she isn’t left in the dark. I know this is the type of person she is, and I have really only asked a few things of her, but she has turned me down on each of them. I have asked her to come with me to my parents house to see my dress no less than 6 times (they live 10 min from her house) and I asked her to come with me to my hair trial so I could have someone else’s opinion. She still has never seen my dress. And she told me she would go to the hair trial with me, but on the day of decided she didn’t want to go, and went golfing with her mother instead. It may not seem like that big of a deal, but that was the final straw to me. I can’t put everything down in this post, but there is absolutely NO enthusiasm or excitement about my wedding from this girl. Even my fiance noticed and commented to me about it. I feel like I can’t even talk to her about the wedding anymore because she gets so annoyed when I do. And I rarely talk about it to begin with because I don’t want to seem like one of thsoe girls who is all wedding, all the time!
I finally asked her yesterday if she still wants to be in the wedding, or if she would be happier as a guest. She said that she wanted to do it for me, because this day is “all about me and what I want.” I told her that is not the case, and I truly want to know if she wants to do it. She never responded. She then turned everything back on me and told me that I need to ask her to do stuff if I want her to and she will gladly step down if I have someone else in mind for the Maid/Matron of Honor (and when I brought up that she has declined everything I have asked her to do, she said “I didn’t think it was that big of a deal”).. What kind of answer is that? We have less than 2 months until the wedding, and she cares so little about it that she doesn’t even want to be involved. She plans on showing up at the church in time for the ceremony and leaving as soon as possible during the reception. We have been very close friends for 20 years and I thought she would want to spend that day with me.
What am I supposed to do?? I do have someone else that I could ask to be the Maid/Matron of Honor, but I feel like this is a double edged sword. If I ask someone else, my current Maid/Matron of Honor (despite what she said about being fine with it) will NOT be happy, and if I keep her as Maid/Matron of Honor she STILL won’t be happy.
I could barely even sleep last night because of this, and I had to stay at FI’s house because the situation turned out so badly yesterday…