(Closed) My MOH stepped out, now what?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 5
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I’m not really sure what a “Personal Attendant” is, but I’m sure she would like to be a BM as well… maybe say you were having a particular number of BM due to budget restraints, and since your MOH stepped out you would like her to join the WP. 
As for who to be your MOH, you don’t NEED one, so personally I wouldn’t single one out (just know who is going to sign your marriage license- the only ‘real’ job of the MOH and best man).

Post # 7
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You don’t really *need* a MOH… one of your BMs can give a speech for you! I’m really sorry your friend bailed on you, but it’s probably better she did it now rather than later.

Post # 8
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

Yikes. Sorry to hear all that. You’d think a best friend would love to stand by your side for your wedding. It’s almost to the point where I’d question your friendship between you and her. It’s one thing if she couldn’t afford to be a bridesmaid (We all gotta admit, it is quite pricey to be in a wedding), but (depending on her reasons) bailing on friend for cards and drinks is another story.

Who says you have to have a MOH? Couldn’t all three girls be your bridesmaids without having a MOH?

Post # 9
Member
350 posts
Helper bee

Agreed that you don’t need a MOH.  I was in a wedding where the bride didn’t want to choose between me, her other best friend, and her two sisters, so we were all “bridesmaids” and just as honored.  And guess what – she’s just as “married” as someone who had  a MOH!  As for your marriage license, this can be signed by anyone who is a witness to your ceremony – so maybe your mom would like that honor?  And anyone can give a speech too, you can ask one of your BMs or your parents or whoever.  Most of our wedding party had anxiety about speaking in public so we just had our parents do the toasts.

As for asking the girl, I think the financial excuse proposed by emily is a good one. It’s expensive to have a lot of bridesmaids since you have to get bouquets, gifts, etc so I think she would understand.  Another way to go about it is to say “you know, I was thinking about how I asked you to be a personal attendant.  In fact I would really like you to stand with me on my day as a bridesmaid.”  or whatever.  (I don’t know what a personal attendant is and what is the difference between that and BM?)

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