(Closed) My MOH sucks.

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I uninvite the scuzz-ass boyfriend?
    Most def. : (8 votes)
    50 %
    No way. : (7 votes)
    44 %
    Something different that I will explain. : (1 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    1315 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Simple, you tell her, (polite & firm) that the budget is becoming a problem and you’re having to remove plus ones.

    As regards the Maid/Matron of Honor thing, I’d just say that seeing as she’s thinking of moving away you’d like to ask your Future Sister-In-Law to do it.

    As regards showers and gifts etc I don’t know, try to keep it calm anyhow.

    Post # 4
    218 posts
    Helper bee

    It definitely sounds like you are more her friend than she is yours. Don’t let her take advantage and walk all over you. Stick up for yourself and what you want. it’s your day.

    I obviously don’t know you or ‘Kate’, but she doesn’t sound like a good person. I’m sorry you have to deal with drama like that so close to your wedding day.

    Good luck.

    Post # 5
    2641 posts
    Sugar bee

    Wow, that’s a lot of stuff. 

    Well your Kate might not be the prfect Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I agree that she should probably put more effort into the shower, but sometimes the Bridal Party has trouble making the shower.  

    And just because she works in retail, and isn’t a surgeon, doesn’t mean she can just blow off her job.  (And call in sick, as you suggested.)  Maybe she has legitimate reasons for not being able to take off work.

    Also, why is it your concern that her parents put their money into her wedding responsibilities, and not her?  I understand it’s not the best scenario.  Maybe she’s a moocher?  Maybe she’s fiscally irresponible?  But everything is getting paid, right?

    As for the bf, what has he done that’s so bad?  Maybe he’s a bad guy.   But you haven’t said much, other than they break up and get back together frequently.  Unless there is something quite outstanding about this guy, I’m a big supporter of letting the Bridal Party take dates.  Especially if you are already allowing one person a date.  I would just allow everyone in the Bridal Party a date.  Also, it sounds like you did already tell her she could bring him.

    It sounds like the bigger issue is your disapproval of the way she’s living her life.  I can’t say I blame you.  But if that’s the case,  I would not rush to make waves at this point, and let things stand with her as your Maid/Matron of Honor and allowing her bf to come.


    Post # 8
    179 posts
    Blushing bee

    Do you see Kate being in your life 5 or 10 years down the road? Do you see her being actively involved in your life and actually being a supportive friend to YOU… not just keeping in touch with you so she can complain about her life? Kate seems like a hot mess.

    I’m just asking these questions b/c it looks like you need to make a decisions on whether or not you want Kate in your life. Despite all of the things she does that you disapprove of, you still associate with her and did make her your Maid/Matron of Honor. You didn’t have to offer her that role. It’s only 1 month to the wedding so you should just suck it up and deal with her until then. You’ve come this far already so you can definitely handle it. After the wedding, just do as you please if you want to cut ties with her.

    As for her bf, if you’re concerned that he’s going to cause a scene, adopt someone to look after him. Do you have a day-of-coordiantor, a work at the wedding venue or a family member that can keep him in check? If they see him acting out in anyway they should take care of him and give him the boot the second he starts being inappropriate.


    The topic ‘My MOH sucks.’ is closed to new replies.

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