Post # 1
My mother just passed away June 11th of this year (2014). Our wedding is as of now in 55 days. My fiancee and I have gone back and forth of canceling it or not. My sisters who are older told me my mother wouldn’t want it any other way. Today was a pretty hard day for me. I went to pick up and try on my dress. It came in on the day of my mother’s wake this past Sunday. I tried on my dress and instantly cried just thinking of my mother not being able to see me in my dress. She was sick so she has never even seen my dress in the first place. I just don’t know what to do. I want to honor my mother in some way at my wedding without bringing everyone else down. I am having close family/friends that have known my mother/family for years. So they all went to the wake and know she has recently passed. I need help in finding a way to honor my mother without hashing all the pain of losing her all over again. Any suggestions would help. Thank you
Post # 2
I am so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you and I can only begin to imagine what you are going through. Loss of a parent takes time to come to terms with and at this stage you will still be feeling very raw.
tbh I personally would be inclined to cancel my wedding celebration and just get married quietly because to me it would just feel wrong and impossible to still carry on. Big hugs to you at this difficult time.
Post # 3
I am very sorry to hear this and sorry for your loss.If I were you I would do what your mother would want you to do. If you know in your heart she would want you to have the wedding you’ve been planning then I vote you go through with it. She will be there with you in spirit.
Post # 4
I am so sorry for your loss. In terms of honouring her I’ve heard of people attaching a photo to their bouquet, mentioning the loved one in speeches, lighting a candle, setting a place for them at the table, having a framed photo on display somewhere, playing a particular song/piece of music that meant something to the person, wearing an item of their jewellery, having a note of remembrance in the order of service , I’m sure there’s other ways too it’s just finding one that feela right for you
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. This will not be an easy time for you, that is for sure. But I wouldn’t cancel your wedding. I’m sure you mother wouldn’t want you to. A wedding– though it is a celebration– is a part of life. If you were pregnant, for example, you wouldn’t be able to cancel your child’s birth and you shouldn’t anyway. Death is a terrible part of life, but personally I think moving forward with your life and being the daughter she raised is how you honor your mother.
I will have my mother’s picture on a small locket attached to my bouquet. Many people who are attending my wedding will be doing so as much for my mom as for me. My FI plans to mention her in his speech and I’m sure there will be tears, but I am ok with that! Granted, my loss isn’t fresh, like yours is, but I do have a similar experience: my mother died on Christmas morning. We did not cancel our Christmas, though it was quite a subdued day. And now the two events are sort of meshed for me; Christmas is bittersweet. But my mother loved that holiday so much that in some ways it just makes the day more special.
I think your wedding will become sort of like that in your heart–tied up with your love for your mother as well as the day you married the man you love.
Post # 6
I’m so sorry for your loss. Do NOT cancel your wedding. How terrible would your mom have felt if you did that? My mom died about 15 years ago, I pinned the locket my Dad gave her on their first anniversary (it has a picture of the two of them on a bicycle built for two) to my bouquet. Also we played a few songs that my family all knew she loved, swing music and Frank Sinatra like music.
My younger brother got married 20 days after one of our older brother’s passed away from cancer. It happened so suddenly. There was a family meeting, with my brother’s kids, where my younger brother asked if it would be ok to still get married and we all agreed he should get married. We didn’t tone done one thing. It was amazing because my whole family came together to celebrate my older brother’s life and a few weeks later came together again to celebrate my younger brother’s next step in life.
I think something simple to honor your mom would be nice and not make everyone sad. Maybe her wedding picture on the gift table?
Post # 7
Thank you everyone for your kind words. Also I want to thank everyone that gave a suggestion on what to do for honoring my mother.. Dan (fiancee) and I have decided that we will go through with the wedding because I believe with all my heart that she wouldn’t want it any other way. I really like the idea of saving her seat next to my Dad with the flowers she would of worn but I think it will be to hard on my father. So instead I’m going to put her picture up near the guest book with her flowers. I’m also going to request that my parents song do NOT play during the wedding. I was planning on having the DJ play their song for they could share a dance with each other like they did almost 45 years ago. (They were married August 23rd, 1969.) Again thank you all for your words of encouragement and sympathy during this difficult time.