Post # 1
I just have to vent this out. So my then boyfriend of three years proposed to me on Feburary 13, 2012 and I was so excited. I knew that it was coming for a few months which made the build up amazing. We were originally planning on only a year engagement but due to economical and education issues we had to cancel our original wedding date which we had planned out before the engagement was offical. It was very upsetting but on the upside I was accepted into my dream major at a university that is nationally known for it.
For whatever reason, my own mother decided that because our engagement will be about two and a half years long that my engagement ring was nothing more than a ring (which she also decided that she didn’t like) and we’re really engaged. She has told everybody this belief of her’s including family friends. To make matters worse, one tactless family friend told me “it’s not a real engagement if you don’t have a date.” It made the cancelation of our original date even more upsetting.
As a result of this my she won’t let me talk about my fantasy wedding and refuses to call my fiance my fiance. This is really just the tip of the iceburg but it’s made my engagement so much less fun. In fact, I’m starting to feel as though I’m not really engaged.
Post # 3
Mine too. Our engagement will be 3 years long. we haven’t talked about a “real” date, and everyone is treating it like we aren’t engaged. Don’t worry about it. All that’s important is how you and your FI feel about each other. Everyone else will see it eventually.
Post # 4
This is happening to me too. I just got engaged on May 20 and don’t have a date set yet. We are trying to figure out ceremony type, finances, place to live, etc. but the questions are annoying and constant. Seriously I don’t know why people can’t say congratulations and then just keep their traps shut.
Post # 5
I agree with MsTireSmoke. My FI and I are haveng a very short engageent, and have been a couple for a litle over 2 yrs 3 months when we will marry. Some feel we are rushing and that “it’s sooo soon!”, but we know that it is right for us, and that it is the best thing to do for OUR situation.
When people pry, tell them whats going on (if you are comfortable). I had NO problem telling relatives we were going to be married sooner rather than later so I can focus on school during the school year.
Post # 7
I’m kind of in the same boat, my boyfriend got down on one knee and proposed but with out a ring. Our wedding will be in 3 years once were done with school and have a chnace to get settled into the “real” world. So I don’t have a ring or a date set. It sucks because the only person who takes us seriously is my best friend. It makes me sad but I keep reminding myself that I am most definatly engaged to the love of my life and people will come around eventually. This site however is amazing and the women on here have been such a huge help, especially if I just need to talk about my wedding to someone 🙂
Post # 8
I think that is sad. Don;t let anyone take away from your engagement. Congrats.
Post # 9
don’t listen to anyone, ladies! if he asked you to marry him – and you said YES – you are ENGAGED! no ring or date? who cares? the man you love wants to marry you. that’s all that matters. don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise and ignore the buzzkills. congratulations of everyone’s engagements!
Post # 10
@alyssaC: It’s people like you (and the rest of the people that replied to my post) that made me decide to register here. I had been looking at a lot of the other posts and enjoying the ring porn before I decided to become a part of it. Thank you for supporting me in a way that many of my own friends and people that I have known for years and family have not.
Post # 11
@LilDrAnya: I completely agree with this.
If he proposed to you and gave you a ring, well then you are most definitely engaged! You two have made an active decision to get married sometime in the future, and there is no such thing as a rule stating that you need to have a date set straight away.
I’m sorry your mother is killing the excitement, but she is wrong so please don’t let it ruin your engagement buzz. Congratulations on this exciting step!
Ps. We got engaged on the exact same day – 13 Feb 2012, day before Valetine’s! 🙂
Post # 12
@LilDrAnya: yes, this! exactly!
Post # 13
Wow, I can’t believe so many Bees have had this type of experience! FI proposed with a fake ring, so I didn’t have a real one for abut 2 months, and we didn’t set a date for several months either. We were even considering waiting until summer 2013 to get married. No one questioned it, all we got were congrats and well wishes.
If anyone is telling you anything less, they aren’t true friends at all. If there was an official agreement to get married, you’re engaged. I’m sorry your mom feels differently, but at the very least your friends should be happy for you and if they aren’t, I wouldn’t consider them very good friends.
Post # 14
You could always sercretly elope, just the two of you, and then have a wedding celebration two years from now. That’d sure make your mom realize it’s ‘real’ 😉 That’s probably terrible advice…..lol.
Post # 15
I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. Don’t let others cast a shadow on such a happy time in your life. If anything, think of it as one more thing to bring you and your FI closer. Congratulations on your engagement!
Post # 16
Everyone’s pretty much already said what I was going to say. I just wanted to say I’m sorry no one is taking one of the biggest events in your life seriously and I know how it feels: FI and I are planning to be married FOUR YEARS from now and many people do not consider us engaged.
All the negativity is just a speed bump on the way to something great. Congratulations: you ARE engaged!