At long last, bought my dress!
more by Jaxx317
Is a Honeymoon Registry Tacky?
Can you name the designer?
more in Dress
Fradulent Dress Company...Please READ!!
Building a balanced registry is really hard!
more in Boards
SO EXCITED!! coed Bachelor/Bachelorette!!

My mom is insane - what to do?

posted 2 years ago in Dress
  •  
    1.
    Member
    1,356 posts
    Bumble bee
    Jaxx317    July 17, 2011   Brooklyn, NY/wedding in the Hudson Valley

    So I've been wedding dress shopping for about two months now, not necessarily looking to buy anything, but just having fun with it all and seeing what's out there. I happened to see two Anjolique dresses at a trunk show in mid-March, and when I say "see", I literally mean I saw them, touched them, but they were like a size 6 so I couldn't try them on (I'm a street size 14-16). The boutique where I saw them was not able to get loaner dresses closer to my size from the designer. I happened to go into the Manhattan version of David's Bridal (RK Bridal for those of you in NYC) by myself on a day off, and tried on a Maggie Sottero (the Aretha, photo below) and FELL IN LOVE! The floor sample was a 16 (which, um, NEVER happens) and it fit like a glove. It's so perfect I can't even stop smiling when I think about how I look in it. It makes me look 2 sizes smaller and gives me the most amazing shape!

    Well, I was so excited I brought my mom back to RK with me to see it, and her reaction was "Eh, it's ok." She felt like there was too much ruching overall, and the ruching ends in a bad place (across my bum, which is on the larger side ;)), making my booty look unnecessarily bigger. I think it makes me look great, but unfortunately I have no photos of me in the dress because they don't allow you to take photos unless you are purchasing. We were short on time so the consultant laced the corset up quickly (skipping holes) so it didn't sit quite perfectly, but even after telling mom that and after saying they make the dress to my measurements so it won't be as tight in hip/butt area, she is still like "eh, whatever" and insisting that I try to track down the other Anjolique dresses - WHICH SHE HAS NEVER EVEN SEEN IN PERSON! Since, I have called several places in the NY area to find someplace that carries them and no luck and told her I'm not going on a wild goose chase for a wedding dress. So after being semi-resigned to me getting the Maggie dress, she tells me she doesn't like RK at all (My mom got a little snippy with the consultant because unfortunately she got stuck in traffic and was late for out appointment, and the consultant waited for as long as possible before she had to help other people). RK has the best prices I've seen so far and the consultant is actually super nice but was a bit stressed that day and my mom barking at her didn't help.

    I am making one last ditch attempt and will try on two Blue by Enzoani dresses this weekend (photos below - these are the closest I can find to the Anjoliques), and will post photos of me in them next week for a truer comparison. AGH ARGH ARGH! I will probably end up paying for my own dress which means I can get whatever I want... but still. very frustrating. What do you guys think!

     

    MY DRESS! Maggie Sottero - Aretha (It's shown in the light gold color, which I'm not sure about. I tried on either white or diamond white which looked great)

    My mom is insane - what to do? :  wedding Maggie ArethaMy mom is insane - what to do? :  wedding Maggie Aretha

    Alternates:

    Blue by Enzoani - Cayenne

    My mom is insane - what to do? :  wedding Blue Enzoani Cayenne

    Blue by Enzoani - Berkeley

    My mom is insane - what to do? :  wedding Blue By Enzoani Berkeley

     
    2.
    Hostess
    16,857 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    I think I like the second one best.  I like how the ruching is a bit looser and looks more like draping there.

     
    3.
    Member
    2,338 posts
    Buzzing bee
    vistagirl    march , 2010   Oregon

    it sounds like your mom just has different taste- i think the things she isn't a fan of would be true of those other dresses.

    and get what makey YOU feel beautiful.

     
    4.
    Member
    1,356 posts
    Bumble bee
    Jaxx317    July 17, 2011   Brooklyn, NY/wedding in the Hudson Valley

    i can only hope it looks good on me, MissAsB :)

     
    5.
    Member
    3,677 posts
    Sugar bee
    hilsy85    September 2010  

    To me, it sounds like your mom maybe feels a little left out? Like, you brought her in to see a dress that you had already found and decided you loved, and she wishes that she had helped you find "The dress"? Or maybe I'm totally off base, lol, and she just really doesn't like the dress for whatever reason.

    Bottom line, get the dress you love, and don't let her lack of enthusiasm ruin it for you! The Maggie dress is lovely, and I hope you post pics of you in it!

     
    6.
    Member
    1,356 posts
    Bumble bee
    Jaxx317    July 17, 2011   Brooklyn, NY/wedding in the Hudson Valley

    @hilsy - this isn't the first time i've gone and she's definitely been with me to try on dresses before, but she has an idea in her head of what will look good on me. I attempted to try on a Joli that was similar in the style at the top to the Maggie, but had a bit softer drape from the bust down (but same mermaid silhouette); but it only comes in satin and i'm getting married in the middle of the summer at a mostly outdoor affair so satin is a no-no.

    @vista - we definitely have different taste. she was sending me links of lace dresses and dresses that were beaded all over. eek!

     
    7.
    Member
    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    kartz_710    July 10, 2010   Washington, DC

    The aretha is my favorite, but definitely buy the dress that you love the most. You are the one who will be wearing it!

     
    8.
    Hostess
    7,114 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    zippylef    October 30, 2010   Norfolk, UK

    I think you should go with what you love. The day of, your mother will think you're gorgeous regardless.

    To tell you the truth, the same thing happened with me and my mom. I had found a dress I loved, it turned out that she hated it. We got into a HUGE fight, I started crying. 2 days later, I found the perfect dress and I bought it. I hope your story has a similarly happy ending.

    Just wanted to say, I agree with MissAsB. The Cayenne is GORGEOUS. Love.

     
    9.
    Member
    1,126 posts
    Bumble bee
    mountain.bride    December 12, 2009   Australia

    It's a shame you can't take a photo - perhaps she is seeing something you can't looking in a mirror? Or maybe she is just struggling with the idea of you getting married and this is a way for her to vent? Maybe she just has different taste. In any case, I'm a big believer in that mothers don't have to approve of everything we do :) It's nice if they do, but not necessary for most things. This is one of those things! If you feel *that* beautiful in the dress then that's what matters, as long as you can live with the thought that your mother doesn't particularly care for it.

     
    10.
    Member Icon
    Member
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    snuggly    November 28, 2009  

    Your mum's from a different generation - perhaps she just doesn't understand modern fashion. Maybe that's why she prefers lace - lace has been a popular wedding choice on and off for decades.

    Regardless, it's your dress, and your decision. If she becomes an issue, you might be best to have a word with her. Explain how beautiful you feel in your dress. Explain how other people feel about it too (have you shown it to anyone else? Even point out weddingbee opinions!) And let her know that if she doesn't like it she should just keep her mouth shut to avoid hurting your feeling unnecessarily.

     
    11.
    Member
    1,356 posts
    Bumble bee
    Jaxx317    July 17, 2011   Brooklyn, NY/wedding in the Hudson Valley

    Thanks for the advice ladies. I went to try on the Cayenne and the Berkeley, and of course, both samples were in a size 12 and I barely fit my left leg in them. I really don't feel comfortable purchasing a a dresss that I can't even put on. If it was 3 sizes bigger that would be a different story, but I can't see accurately the way these other dresses fit when they are too small for me. And I don't feel comfortable buying something when I don't know how it fits. I also tried on several other dresses last weekend, and still the Maggie Aretha is my favorite and I love the way I look in it.

    @mountain - perhaps your right. I do really wish I could have taken photos so other people could at least tell me what they think.

    @snuggly - i did bring a friend who has seen me in several dresses and she really likes the way the Aretha fits me the best.

    Sigh. My mom still keeps sending me links for other dresses (many of which are way more expensive)! I'm going to a Maggie Trunk show at a different shop in 2 weeks to potentially purchase y dress from there so maybe they'll let me take photos. Will post if I can!

     
    12.
    Member Icon
    Member
    72 posts
    Worker bee
    LindyC    November 19, 2011  

    My Mom and I have different ideas of what a "wedding dress" looks like, we have different taste too. Everything I loved she didn't, everything she loved I didn't! In the end it's what is going to make you happy, and go with the dress you love! I take my mother's advice but after a while I realized no matter what I would go with a dress I wanted! 

     
    13.
    Member
    4,019 posts
    Honey bee
    jennifer_espos    June 18, 2010   NYC

    I adore the dress that you want!  Seriously, its beautiful!  And if you feel great in it, you deserve that dress.  I'd look around some more, just because you don't want to be like one of us (I say us because I've done it too) bees that posts about regretting their choices.  But if you can't find anything you fall for- you need that dress! 

     
    14.
    Member
    1,356 posts
    Bumble bee
    Jaxx317    July 17, 2011   Brooklyn, NY/wedding in the Hudson Valley

    Hi Gals -

    Thanks everyone for the feedback. As jennifer_espos suggested, I've decided to keep looking at least until September-ish. I've recently seen Maggie's fall collection online and saw several I'd like to try to track down to try on. I still LOVE the Aretha (dress #1 above), but now I'm not sure about the corset back. I tried on a Sottero and Midgely at a trunk show a couple weeks ago in my size just to see a "true fit", and I kinda see what my mom was talking about. I think it has more to do with where the corset ends than the fit/style of the dress. My mom's other issue is that she thinks the tafetta of the Aretha feels "cheap" and the color is too stark white (even though it's diamond white, and I think it's fine). So I'm going to attempt to find some zip up dresses with interior corsets in or close to my size and see if they lay flatter or sit more smoothly in the rear section ;) I'm also taking the plunge and going to Kleinfelds. They carry Maggie Sottero there, so even if they don't necessarily have the exact styles I'm looking for, they can probably order the one I do want. More to come this fall!

     
    15.
    Member
    588 posts
    Busy bee
    VeronicaH    April 24, 2010  

    Go with the dress you feel good in. Bring in a friend to get another opion if you want.

     
    16.
    Member
    94 posts
    Worker bee
    bobrien74    February 26, 2011   Las Vegas

    You have to go with your gut feeling.  Take the one you feel most confident in.  Bring a friend with you to take a look.  She might be more supportive and that is what you need.

     
    17.
    Member
    1,356 posts
    Bumble bee
    Jaxx317    July 17, 2011   Brooklyn, NY/wedding in the Hudson Valley

    My gut says - be cheap!!! get the cheaper dress!! but since I have time, I'll luxuriate on the dress buying for a bit.

     
    18.
    Member
    2,179 posts
    Buzzing bee
    bklynbridetobe    December 2011   Brooklyn Born

    Kleinfield carries Maggie **faints**

     
    19.
    Member
    1,356 posts
    Bumble bee
    Jaxx317    July 17, 2011   Brooklyn, NY/wedding in the Hudson Valley

    already posted the good news on other boards but i ended up getting a Jim Hjelm at Kleinfeld's that MOM FINALLY APPROVES OF! and of course, i love it too! i still do love the Maggie Aretha, but the Jim Hjelm i ended up with will be so perfect! we went to the sample sale, and narrowed it down to two dresses, and although my mom liked the second runner up best (i think it was an alita graham), it felt too heavy in the end for my outdoor, mid july garden wedding. but hooray that everyone is happy!

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    Rivendeler 14
    Rojocameo 12
    Suikerbossie 9
    Future Mrs K 8
    ellisrobertson 8
    keranos 7
    janetsnakehole 6
    deborah.dehlinger 6
    MrsOliveBird 5
    kat2014 5

    Dress

    User Posts Today
    deborah.dehlinger 3
    pipafarell 2
    Loribeth 1
    beekiss 1
    ashron 1
    krisanne 1
    kat2014 1
    fresitachulita 1
    Bride2BeeVA28 1
    csdncer2013 1
    More