(Closed) My mom is not supportive of my husband and I relocating

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Your mom most likely is devestated she is kinda losing her girl. Some moms get upset and pick fights when “kids” move away. Happened to me and my cousin. Time will hopefully help her get over it and accept it…hopefully.

Post # 4
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yeah, I dont even have kids and Im thinking like your mom. Its hard for family when one of theirs moves away. Like my brother. He live almost cross country from us and it totally sucks. 

I think thats why your mom is like that right now. She has always had you around in some form or fashion. Not having you within reach is so strange to her. SHe will miss you.

though shes going about it the wrong way from what it sounds like. You can maybe help her to get past the shock. There are so many ways to stay connected these days. Email,skype,facebook,cellphones,etc,etc.  

Hope you two can work this out.

Post # 5
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Yeah, it sounds like your mom is just upset that she won’t have you right next door anymore and unfortunately, this is her way of showing it.  My mom and I saw this Oprah one time about this mom who was so devastated when the daughter went to college that the mom would go in the daughter’s room and unmake the bed and lay in it and pretend the daughter had just left.  It was sad but also really funny so my mom and I always joke that she is laying around in my unmade bed in my old room. 

Just hang in there….who knows, if she finally caves and visits you, she may end up loving Texas and want to visit more often or even move there someday.  (I feel ya too bc my FH is also finishing his residency and we are going to be relocating –completely undecided at this point–shortly after the wedding!) 

Post # 6
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I think that her having a problem with you wanting to get a dog shows that she might not really be thinking clearly right now- what does it matter to her if you get a dog? She’ll hopefully come to her senses and figure out that you moving to Texas will still mean more contact with you than cutting you out.

Post # 8
46258 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You can’t do anything about how your Mom thinks or behaves. Go ahead with your plans and your Mom will choose to come around or not.

Post # 9
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Your mother may love you and doesn’t want you to move away, but she has an odd way of showing it.  As others have said, she’s more than likely hurt.  Perhaps she feels as if you’re abandoning her?  I think I would tell her that moving really is the best decision for you two, you’ll visit when you can, and that you’d like to enjoy these last few days in Chicago with her.  Perhaps you could start with “it’s too bad that the job here in Chicago wasn’t as good as the one in Dallas.”  

I’m moving away but my family has been incredibly understanding.  Deep down your mother surely wants the best for you.

Post # 10
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I just moved halfway across the country from my mom as well.  Let’s just say when I told her, she didn’t take it so well.  Your mom will get better.  It just takes time getting used to.  In my mom’s case, it wasn’t just losing me, but also her hopes of what her relationship with her future grandchildren would be like.  She wanted to be around all the time, but now that I don’t live there, she knows it’s not possible.  Let me know if you need to talk.  It was difficult, but it gets better.  🙂 

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