- 5 years ago
I am so upset at a time when I should be happy and I don’t know what to do! I just got engaged last month but we are having our wedding very soon, the reason being it is just more convenient for my family members, many of whom are out of state. We plan on doing our ceremony somewhere alone, then having our reception the week after. All plans have already been booked! We originally wanted to combine a honeymoon with the ceremony, but we both just started new jobs and I know I personally won’t get anymore vacation time yet when I am already taking two weeknds off (and I normally work weekends). Anyway, we are going to a local beach instead where my parents live, and are thinking of inviting them to save money on pictures so we have some to show at the reception. We wanted to also invite my fiance’s parents who are about 6 hours from there, just to be fair. My mom wanted us to save money on as much as possible, so that’s what I thought we were doing. Now all of a sudden, she wants us to go to Florida so she doesn’t have to entertain his family, because she thinks she’s “above it.”
She also had the idea to have the reception in his family’s hometown, because my dad grew up there and his whole side of the family wants to take a trip back there. Now, she wants me to keep that reception for his side of the family, and have ANOTHER reception with just my family. I don’t want to have three events, two is more than enough. She said she will feel uncomfortable that there is so much of his family. I don’t want more than 75 people there, so I don’t see how this is the big “blowout” that she thinks it will be. I want to keep it on the smaller side. She doesn’t understand why I want a cake, DJ, or anything. I still want all that stuff. The worst part is that she’s supposed to be helping us pay and she is just sitting on things, like printing out my save the dates. She won’t give me family addresses because she just assumes they will not come and that I should cater to all of them and have my third reception for them, even though they all live in different states. So I don’t see why it matters WHERE they are flying to? When I try to suggest ways I want to save money, like making my own favors or having drink tickets, she whines like a little kid and says that’s cheap. But she won’t actually get anything done for me, because she says it’s too fast. It’s in four months! She just keeps yelling about how I have no sense, and keeps changing her mind about what I should do, when it’s not her decision and my plans are already set in stone. I think she’s mad because she won’t be the center of attention, but what do I know. My boyfriend’s mom and grandma are willing to pay for it without any discussion, but they are waiting for my mom to chill out about everything and offer to do something. I am so angry and I can barely reach her because I’m two hours away now and she likes to not answer her phone. Please help!