My mom is sick, and I feel like a jerk.

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
6067 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@IAmTheShadow:  It’s nice of you to want to help with your Mom and also help your sis out, but please don’t feel guilty.

Just acknowledge that it’s an unpleasant feeling for you that you can’t help her, but your priority is your baby!! And that’s a good thing!

 

Post # 4
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@IAmTheShadow:  Try not to worry about it. I don’t blame you.  I wouldn’t go hang out with someone who was ill or a doctor’s office either. Heck, we went to interview pediatricians the other day and I didn’t want to be in the waiting room with the sick kids! Your sister will get over it (assuming she is even upset).

Post # 5
Member
2197 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@IAmTheShadow:  I understand your concerns completely. You need to protect yourself and that baby. But I did want to say, IF, just IF for some reason you have to take your mom to the doctor soon because your sister is unavailable… ask for one (or a few to keep with you) surgical face masks. Most hospitals will have them. You might feel silly wearing them, but it’s worth the precaution. And wash your hands and use antiseptic gel/foam like it’s going out of style. Keep that little bean safe! 

Post # 7
Member
2197 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@IAmTheShadow:  UGH, I can see how that’s not an ideal way to tell her. But like you said, the stress of the situation doesn’t help. You are doing the right thing by not exposing yourself. Let her get on a treatment regimine first. She’s being attended to by medical professionals now. I know you feel bad, but it’ll be ok. I wish the best for your mother. 

Post # 8
Member
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You can always wear a mask and wash your hands throughly and frequently.

If it makes you feel any better I work in surgery with very sick people while I was pregnant. I just made sure to wear gloves when handling the patients and always always washing my hands frequently. The only patients I didn’t take care of are the ones that had TB.

Your priority is to protect you and your baby so I understand the situation you are in. Defitinitely dont put yourself into a situation that would cause either of you harm, but if you felt like you really need to help your mom or visit her, play it smart. Insist on having a mask and wear gloves. Use the alcohol foam that is around the hospital and nothing beats a good hand washing with warm water and soap.

Also unless you have a stance against getting the flu shot, I would get one ASAP. This current strain of the flu is literally killing people. The hospital where I gave birth have visitor restrictions (no one under the age of 18 and for the babies, only parents and grandparents). Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You are doing the right thing – why take that risk???

If it gets worse, go visit and wear a mask/wash your hands.

Post # 10
Member
1147 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@IAmTheShadow:  I’m sorry to hear that your mom is sick & had to go to the hospital via ambulance, scary! Please don’t feel bad though. Your #1 priority is taking care of that baby. Your sister is probably a better candidate for being with your mom anyways as she is a nurse and can ask all sorts of medical questions & get a good grasp on your moms current state. I was on a cruise for the first few weeks of my pregnancy (germ central) and you can bet I sanatized my hands at every turn. You just can’t be too careful when pregnant and especially this time of year. Over xmas we were supposed to visit DH’s 90 y/o grandma, who lives in a senior care home on our way to his parents house. I was already really uncomfortable with the idea of going over there since all the old people are sick and dying but would make an exception because of the holiday as long as it was a quick visit (under 1 hour). Well MIL called me on xmas eve and said that grandma had a fever, cough and runny nose, I told DH there was NO way I was going there on xmas and risking myself/the baby. Instead we went straight to his parents house & did presents, then DH & his dad went over to visit grandma and give her xmas presents. She was so sick she didn’t even realize it was Christmas so i didn’t feel bad for not being there, even though she might not be around for xmas 2014. I’m happy that DH was able to see her & didn’t bring the sickies home to me!

Bummer about how you had to break the news to your sister. This is just the beginning of people having opinions on how you should handle your pregnancy (well just wear a mask and come anyways, etc) but ultimately its up to you to decide what you are comfortable with. Keep us posted! 

Post # 11
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@IAmTheShadow:  Aw you poor thing. I hope your mom is okay. I definitely wouldn’t be going to the hospital right now until you have more information and determine if it’s necessary or not. 

I’m sorry you had to tell your sister in a less than ideal way, but I’m sure once the stress of this blows over, she will be super excited and happy for you.  

Post # 13
Member
2885 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@IAmTheShadow:  Because your sister is a nurse, she likely has a higher risk tollerance in this situation than you do.  My FSIL works in a hospital, starting there when she was 7.5 months pregnant, and was doing clinicals throughout her pregnancy.  If you are in the medical proffession, you don’t see it as being as risky as those of us who are not in the proffession do. 

There is absolutly nothing wrong with either side. 

I’m sure that your mom is the pressing issue on your sister’s mind right now, where you are ballancing concern for your mom with concern for your baby.  I think you made the right decision for you and your pregnancy.  Once everything calms down with your mom, your sister will probably come around to your side.  At that phone call, she was probably in a panic about your mom, and really didn’t have the ability to process the emotions to be excited for you.

Post # 14
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

There are pregnant women ALL OVER the hospital – patients, visitors, nurses, docs… Go over there and be with your mom. They’re experienced with such things and will be able to tell you best how to protect yourself if the need arises.

 

Post # 15
Member
4526 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I am sort of on the same boat.  My mom is also sick right now, but its just a bad cold, and usually I always go check on her, bring her whatever she needs and just stop by and check on her.  She is not alone, she lives with my father, but I like to take care of her when she is sick.  However, now that I am pregnant (24 weeks) I am not going near their house at all until she is 100% A-O-KAY and fortunately she understands and totally backs me up on not coming over. Dont feel guilty, your baby comes first now.  Your mom isnt alone, thank goodness! so you can always see her after she is better and maybe bring her some flowers.  I am sure your mom will understand.  GL and I hope she feels better soon 🙂

Post # 16
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@IAmTheShadow:  Check Target clinic, as well!

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