- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
Long story short: My mother, as sweet and lovely as she is, has the ability to be a complete psychopath. She was very spoiled as a child, and still is spoiled as an adult. She also flies off the handle and the easiest way to deal with her is to just let her have what she wants- it’s not worth the argument.
My mother is also very catholic, die-hard if you will. She said, long before we were even engaged, we “better” get married in the church and she’d pay for it. Ok, easy enough, right? Well, she has since gone back on that, and doesn’t want to pay for pre-cana. It’s not as much a money thing, FI and I can easily pay the pre-cana, but she wants the church wedding, not us, therefore, she was taking care of it.
FI and I both were raised in strict catholic homes, and made all the sacraments. We both are disenchanted by the church and can not relate to it. FI attended an all-boys catholic high school and hates the church more than me. Me? I can take it or leave it, in very small doses.
That being said, we were willing to have a non-mass ceremony at a church to appease my mother- because it’s not worth the fight. Also, there’s something to be said for walking down an aisle and saying the words our family members have all said to each other. As much as I would love more than anything else, to have personal vows, and meaningful music during our ceremony, I was willing to give that up for this whole church wedding.
Now she is saying if we get married outside of the church, in additon to not coming (We would be making a “mockery” of her and marriage) she refuses to hand over my great-grandmothers’ wedding band to me to use as mine (as has been the plan since I was a baby!) and refuses to buy me the dress.
Half of me feels like just paying for Pre-cana to appease her and get the dress and ring are worth it, the other half is infuriated by her immature, childish behavior, and if she wants to act like a spoiled brat and miss my wedding, so be it.
I havent spoken to her in over a week. The last time we spoke, it came up, and there was a big argument where she said some insanely hurtful and psycho things. Apparently she “has lost respect for FI because he doesnt respect my family” and if we get married outside of a church we will be “disrespecting her and marriage”
So, bees, what would you do?