(Closed) My mom isn’t coming to the RD :(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
13102 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Honestly – I’d let it go.  There is no reason that she needs to be at the rehearsal dinner.  Obviously I understand that you want her to be there but forcing the issue is only going to cause drama that you don’t need that close to your wedding.  And she is right that it is quite a bit more expensive to come in a day earlier – another hotel night, another rental car day, flights may cost more, etc (although I still would make it work to attend a daughter’s rehearsal dinner – but you can’t dictate how your mom chooses to spend her money – although you don’t have to agree/like it).

I have BMs who can’t make it to the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner and they’re actually in the wedding.  I understand – things happen and they don’t always work out the way we ideally plan them.

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this because, as I said, I very much understand why you’d want your mom to be excited and to attend these wedding related functions!

Post # 4
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My mom is pretty similar in her inconsistencies. Over the years I have learned to let it all roll off my back, which has helped! Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do about it. My own dad is coming the day of the wedding and leaving right after. Not the best thing ever, but unavoidable.

Post # 5
Member
624 posts
Busy bee

Is it possible she is saying she won’t come for you to grovel at her feet to show how much you love her? You said you come from a terrible divorce.  My MIL pulls the “You love your dad more than me” crap all the time.

My MIL didn’t stay for the dinner…she wanted a margarita instead.  I later found out from DH that she said she would not come if we were serving Italian.  Even though she wanted us to change our menu to suit her, we didn’t…DH thought it was a bit ridiculous.  Her loss.

Just try to enjoy the evening without her.  Some people have different priorities.

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