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posted 2 years ago in Family
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    MsHymanRoth    October 24, 2009   Boston

    Ok, so all along I've been planning to get ready in a hotel suite ... such as the hair people that do my mother, me and my sister ... will do us at the hotel.

    Now today she tells me that it would be so nice if I came to her house to get ready. She would "dress up the house" and she imagines that it would be so much fun for us to be there. Well ... the thing is ... there are going to be at least 5 relatives (4 of them being grandparents that are elderly who do not want to stay in a hotel and will be at my parents house) ....

    To me ... that seems like it would get a little crazy. She thinks that we could share her master bedroom and bathroom and all be there getting ready.

    I don't know what to do.

    She bought some "mother of the bride" book and is coming to me with all these ideas lol Surprised

    What would you do?

     
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    LittleBear    June 28, 2009   Chicago/beach wedding in NC

    Well, what do you WANT to do? I think it is a nice idea and I think your relatives would really enjoy it. But it all comes down to what you want to do and what would be the least stressful for you on that morning.

    I think it's cute that she got a "mother of the bride" book....as long as she's not trying to make you change all your plans last minute! :)

     
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    RecessionistaBride    January 28, 2012  

    Aww... thats sweet of her.

    If it were my grandparents staying with my mom, I'd decline. They're crazy & they'd make inappropriate comments that would just upset me.

    I'd stick with the hotel b/c its what you guys had originally planned. Any way to blame the hairstylists & say they can't drive to the house? :P

     
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    FutureMrsMorgan    May 9, 2009   Los Angeles, CA

    uhhhh...i know that it probably sounds great to your mom, but I would caution against this. The morning of my wedding, people would not leave me alone. it was hard to find a moment for myself. We all stayed in the same hotel, but different rooms. In your situation 4 or 5 people would could potentially be sharing the same bathroom. i know you want to get dressed with all the BMs and sisters and mothers, but, having done that, I wish no one knew my room number. It was just too chaotic...all the people, all their 'stuff', all the voices, noise, opinions...

    my personal opinion is, if its in the budget, stay in the hotel.  you can just call room service for extra towels and you wont have a bunch of relatives mulling about

     
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    eloping    May 23, 2010  

    nice of her but i would do the hotel suite thing - more space, less stress, you can pick up the phone and order anything you need without family drama and youre paying for it so use it!  

     
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    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    Hmm.. How far is her house from the ceremony cite vs. the hotel? I'm personally just worried about transportation the day of since my parents house is about 45 minutes from our church and the hotel is attached to it.

    I have to say that my best friend who got married in August got ready at her Mom's house (we all did, I was a BM) and it was totally chaotic. Part of the reason was because it was a very DIY wedding and not everything was finished the night before, also there was just a lot of sitting around waiting to get to the hotel in the first place and it kept raining at different points in the day so we had to be prepared with umbrellas, etc. There weren't enough rooms for privacy, so her sisters husband and kids kept running around when we were trying to get dressed and do makeup and there was no 'room service' not a bite to eat in the house so I felt faint by the time we got to the church. I've always been planning on waking up in the hotel the day of and spending the day there so I don't have to worry about getting into the city or getting soaked before walking down the aisle. 

     
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    MsHymanRoth    October 24, 2009   Boston

    Actually ... it is being comped (sp?) for us!!! So the suite is actually free. It's really big too.

    My mom said it could be like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" ... lol. My sister and I are like Sealed

     
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    Future Mrs. Martin    August 21, 2010   London Ontario Canada

    I would probably vote not to do that!

    I am getting ready in my house in my space - this is where I feel the most comfortable and I lock my bedroom door where I have my huge bedroom, closet (with make-up area) and ensuite bathroom if I need too LOL!!!!

    I am only going to 'allow' my mom, my FMIL (if she wants too), and my 3 BMs be in my house the morning of!

    I really want the day to be relaxed and fun - if you don't think that you can have the day you are dreaming of while getting ready at your mom's house just politely decline!

     
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    vintage2010    April 10, 2010  

    Sounds like she'll have her hands full with the houseguests.  I would approach it that way. 

     
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    MsHymanRoth    October 24, 2009   Boston

    Well my parents live very close to where we are getting married and transportation is not an issue. My mom said she would have trays of food "everywhere" ... and she even mentioned inviting my fiances family to her house. LOL- which I quickly nixed.

    She has been BITTEN with the mom'zilla bug. =O

    I said to her that what if we get ready and come here for lunch? =) .... I don't know. I cannot imagine having 2 sets of grandparents - which get cranky and are very opinionated ... mixed with an aunt who is on again off again with my mother ... mixed with my dad ... in their bedroom ... which is gigantic ... but than he'd be moved to like the guest bedroom which is taken by everyone ...

     
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    hotchildinthecity    June 12, 2010   New York, NY

    I mean I'm getting ready at my mom's with all my bridesmaids (8) plus FMIL, future gram in law, my grandmother, and my mom of course.  But my mom also has a pretty big house, three bedrooms, a bar area/den downstairs, two bathrooms, a deck and huge backyard and the wedding is in June. 

    I think it depends on how big your mom's house is and if you would be comfortable with everyone being there.   Personally, both grandmothers are over the moon being invited to get ready with the "girls"

     
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    MrsSl82be    October 24, 2009  

    Um a FREE hotel room??? You bet your sweet ass I'd be staying there!!  I plan on going the hotel route, while I have a nice sized bathroom it would not fit more than 2 people comfortably, and I dont' want a lot of people in my house. So we're going to get a hotel and get ready there

     
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    jocelyn3476       New Jersey

    You should do what makes you comfortable.  I am getting ready at my parents, but I am old school.  And it is the house I grew up in.  Plus, it is the house where my mother got ready for her own wedding.  I get a kick out of stuff like that.

    I am going to the salon to get my hair done and then the makeup person is coming to the house to do us all.  But we have room to set her up away from all of us.

     
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    oracle    October 23, 2010   Los Angeles

    If it's already stressing you out, I'd opt NOT to do it and go the hotel route.  Stress to your mother what a wonderfully delightful idea it is to have you get ready at the house, but after thinking about it, you realize that you want the serenity of NOT being around all the house guests, etc. and would prefer to get ready at the hotel.

    Can she host a day after brunch or something like that??

     
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    amariem25    October 2009  

    i'd do the hotel.  just tell her you don't want her to be stressed and worried on the wedding day.  and with everyone that's already at her house you don't need to add more people for her to worry about.

     

    even if she disagrees just do the hotel room.  it's what you want after all, and you can't please everyone.

     
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    poli2b    October 11, 2009   Aliso Viejo

    Personally, I would find that very annoying.

    I would explain to your mom that you would really like to have the time before your wedding to bond with your BMs and that having additional relatives hanging around will be distracting/stressful for you. She's probably forgetting that a bride needs her space.

     
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    amariem25    October 2009  

    jeez, what hotel gave you a suite for free too?  Ours only gives us half off the suite price, even though we booked like 40 rooms under our block.

     

     
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    tea       norcal

    if it'll be like my big fat greek wedding then i'd say no. and quick! that's just too much insanity too early in the morning. lol.

    but if you're heart is set on the hotel, then just explain that you'd rather have a quiet, easy morning before everything turns hectic, which wouldn't be possible if you were at home with so many people already planning to be at the house. this will give you a chance to just relax and be in the moment. hopefully she'll understand!

     
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    Miss Sapphire    December 2009   Seattle

    I'm actually kicking everyone out of my hotel suite to get ready.  I know I'll be cranky and just want to be able to take a shower, listen to the TV, do my own hair and then a friend is coming to do my makeup.  I don't want to see the rest of my BM's until AFTER they are ready and I'm about to step into my dress.  I'll just need some alone time.

     

    My mom though knows not to even suggest I get ready at the same place as relatives. 

     

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