(Closed) My mom keeps shutting down all my ideas :(

posted 7 years ago in Flowers
Post # 3
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

You need to tell her to back off a little. You like what you like. And no, it doesn’t matter if your flowers don’t match 100%. Maybe you could put a little pink in with all the white flowers? It’s not like it’ll stand out too much if it’s only a little splash here and there.

Post # 4
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

Just tell her that you value her input, but you would rather have _______ .

Post # 5
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

My dad keeps telling my mom “it’s not your wedding!” Lol, I have some of the same issues with my mom, but in the end, I’m the one making the decision because I’m paying for most of it!

Post # 6
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

They only matter as much as you think they do – if you don’t care, or like the look of different flowers, just go with it. That said, if you’re able to do some sort of mock-up or visual of your options (yours and Mum’s ideas), that might help you make a better decision, whether it’s to humbly say “hey, Mum, you were right!” or just reinforce your initial impressions. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I have two opinions… what I think is right and what I would (am) doing: 

What is right: It isn’t her wedding and having similar colored but mismatched flowers will look just fine. Tell her to back off and trust you. 

What I’d do: How much do you care about this, really? You said that she has been pretty laid back otherwise and she seems to really care about this. She’s your mom… maybe it would be best to just let her have this one? Moms like to feel involved and it would be really nice for you to just take her ideas on this. 

Post # 8
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agreee with the other commenters…since it’s not your wedding and not your mom’s, the flowers should reflect you and your fiance’s interests.  Just because your mom is a designer doesn’t mean the two of you have the same taste.  It sounds like the two of you have different visions, her’s coming from a professional stand point, yours from a personal opinion and like standpoint.

I think ultimately, your wedding is supposed to be about what YOU enjoy…it doesn’t have to be 100% perfect in design or appearence, it should be as close to 100% of the vision you and your fiance have when designing your wedding.  And that may not be “perfectly” designed flowers.

It is nice that your mom is helping you, and I think it’s also important to remember that you and your mom don’t have to agree.  There is definitely nothing wrong with that.  πŸ™‚  And your idea sounds like it’ll be nice.  I think as long as there’s SOME consistancy, the flowers will have a nice cohesion to them, and will look super beautiful.  πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m with CorgiTales. She gave great advice. Pick your battles.

Post # 11
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

What I do when my mother tells me her opinion, and I can’t figure out why she’s so sure about something, is that I make her explain it to me. When I was trying to choose new glasses awhile ago, I found myself having to tell her over and over again, “Please articulate to me why you don’t like this.” If you don’t know why she’s thinking that the flower combo you’ve chosen isn’t as good, then the only thing you can do is accept or reject it– you can’t work with it. And I always have to explain to her why I do or do not want to do something… Have you told your mom that your FI doesn’t like pink, and that’s why you don’t want pink all over? Maybe she could find a way to compromise. I wouldn’t think that there would be only two ways (your choice vs. her choice) to do something. Maybe she could use her expertise to help you make it what YOU want. πŸ™‚ Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

How much do you REALLY care about the flowers?  If it isn’t REALLY important to you, could you just let your mom be in charge of them?  If she’s been chill about everything else, it would be nice if you could let her have this, since it’s clearly important her.  It would be a nice gesture for  you to let it go, and it might prevent some terse words.

 

However, if the flowers really matter to you, I’d show her lots of pictures of flowers that suit your vision…maybe she’ll warm up to it.

But really, if you are willing to compromise, it sounds like this would be a good time to do it.

Post # 13
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: January 2012

May be, you wii change your mind.Smile

Post # 14
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

@summerbride12:

I’m just wondering, because your mom is a designer, if she thinks that people might judge her work, because of your choice of flower colors?  Anyway, what if you do white and yellow bouquets instead of white and pink or with just a small touch of pink too?  Just a thought anyway!  Good luck!  πŸ™‚

Post # 15
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@summerbride12: If it is something you do really care about then hold your ground! But maybe find something else to make her job? I am just all about not only keeping the peace… but really making everyone feel included. I know its my day blah blah blah… but I’m not the only one who has been thinking about this day, ya know? My mom cares about flowers and I don’t that much so I just gave it to her. I told her i don’t like orange and other than that go to town. But… that is just me πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Our florist had me bring in dresses about a month before the wedding. We put some flowers together, held them up against the dresses, and decided what looked good and like what I wanted.

We had all kinds of different flowers in the bouquets – orchids, roses, delphinium, etc. and it looked great. We bought flowers from a local gardener for the aisle. Whites, blues, purples, yellows, greens – it all looked great.

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