Post # 1
I booked my weeding date and venue last December. Wedding is in Greece, my family is in Brazil, I live in London. Two weeks ago (we are in July, my wedding is in two months), my cousin announced her engagement and asked me when, still in 2013, I could come to Brazil for her wedding. I said mid December could be ok, as I will be back from honeymoon and will make my BEST even if I have to go there for 2 nights (mind you, she is NOT coming to my wedding for financial reasons, which is fine).
My mom, who is obviously very excited about my cousins wedding as she can help plan more than she can help with mine, being abroad, asked me today if H2b and I have made arrangements for December to come to her wedding. I said not yet, but that only I should come anyway, as he won’t have any holidays left (I have no problem as I am freelance). She got very upset, and said that we should postpone our honeymoon so we can both come to my cousins wedding!!!
I got very mad, as I am thinking they are being SO SELFISH! She (mom) basically thinks that us going to my cousins wedding is way more important than me following the right course of my own wedding and honeymoon that’s been booked ages ago!
I feel like my mom cares more about my cousins wedding right now, than her own deaughter’s. Am I being too selfish not to postpone my honeymoon?
Post # 3
@jber: You are not being selfish! You had these plans set in place long ago. There probably isn’t much you can do to change it and if you did you might be financially penalized. Furthermore, you are still coming to your cousin’s wedding, just not your future husband. I think that is totally okay, especially considering your cousin isn’t able to come to yours.
I wonder if your mom is bummed that she can’t help as much with your wedding, excited that she can help your cousin, and her energy is coming out this way. Hopefully she’ll cool down once she thinks about it some more.
How have your cousin or other relatives reacted to your FI not attending? This might have to do with how your mom feels as well.
Post # 4
I think my cousin reacted badly (meaning, sad) that H2B can’t come, she was expecting us as a couple as she really loves him. I was wondering a minute ago if they (mom and cousin) were secretly planning something for us as well, as a couple. As in, a double celebration of my weeding, since my cousin cannot come to mine, and more of the extended family members are going to be at hers. That is just a hypothesis though!
Post # 5
Asking you to cancel your hunnymoob you’ve had planned for ages is beyond ridiculous. Giver her time to realize that and don’t take it to heart. She prolly just blurted out her first thoughts without thinking it through.
Post # 6
@MrsVandykins: Prob right, I think it is sweet that they want us there so badly, but also selfish of not thinking it is my big year as well, and we all know how much money and time a wedding costs…
Post # 7
Nope, if the honeymoon has been booked then I would totally not expect you to cancel it so that your husband can go to a last minute wedding. If you can make it, that should be enough as it is your cousin. Even if you couldn’t, I’d think she’d understand. AFter all, your cousin isn’t going to your wedding! Has your FI even met this cousin?