Post # 1
These last few days of trying to do wedding planning have been very stressful on me. I am DIYing my invites and figured last week I should start. I was and am still having trouble with the wording and layout, thankfully I have a wonderful MOH and she has taken this over for me as she is great at this stuff.
So instead I put together a spreadsheet to input everyone’s address etc.
So I emailed my mom for one’s I was missing. Tonight she calls to give me them. I was happy she got them so fast! Yay Mom!
Then we are talking and things go south. She asks if I have the invites printed and I tried to tell her I was having difficulties and told her with what and then she is like well your inserting a map and hotel info and etc, etc. I tried to explain that there is only room for so much without it looking like crap so it will have the church address and the reception address. Well how will people know where to go?? Well almost half are familiar with the area and everyone else is an adult. They can use the internet or ask someone else or us. I don’t mind helping someone out with this if they ask just don’t feel like I need to include so much in the invite.
We have decided a while back we are doing fake flowers from Michaels, we like them and we like that we get to save money and keep the flowers. Mutual decision between FI and myself. Well my Mom tells me she went to Michael’s the other day and proceeded to go on and on about how ugly the flowers are and she couldn’t believe the price. I tried to tell her that the price is fine and yes not all the flowers there are great but we have picked out ones we like. Then I told her that we don’t want to spend the money on real flowers. She then says she was thinking she might have to talk me out of this option and do real flowers. I told her there is no guarantee they’ll be nice, they will then wilt & die! When she didn’t want to give up I told her she didn’t have to touch them if she doesn’t like them. That got her quiet fast.
Why can’t she just be supportive, if I’m having difficulty with something don’t make it harder. She knows we are on a tight budget. It also doesn’t help my cousin is getting married a couple months before so I think she is comparing a lot of things.
Wow, way longer than I intended, I just needed to get this off my chest so I can sleep tonight. I’m not looking for sympathy or advice really, any is appreciated, just needed a friendly ear to listen to me.
Post # 3
@Mrs.RDV: Boy do I ever hear ya! My parents are paying for the whole wedding and I’m pretty sure that was a mistake. Whenever my mom doesn’t like something I’ve picked or I disliked something she’s suggested she feels it necessary to “remind” me who’s writing the check. We disagreed so much about the candy buffet (which I simply had to have) that I finally decided to pay for that myself.
Just recently, I was told that she wished I hadn’t invited one of my friends because she doesn’t like her very much. I had to remind her that this was my day to have the friends I wanted there. Also, she would be so involved to even notice her come wedding day. Hang in there! I’ve got three months to go and I’m counting down.
Post # 4
I think sometimes Mom’s just forget that they don’t need to stress us out more. They had their turn, now it is ours!
Post # 5
As far as the invites go, it can be a great idea to include a map or directions, but if you and your FH think it isn’t necessary then it’s totally your decision. If, as you say, most of the guests are familiar with the area, then it isn’t a big deal.
With the flowers, again, completely up to you. It’s your day, so do what you feel best with.
With all the magic and excitement, mother’s sometimes get carried away without realizing that they’re adding to the stress. Let her know how you’re feeling x
Post # 6
Sigh, mothers. I sympathize entirely although I have the opposite problem: a mom who hates weddings and rolls her eyes at the thought of helping me with anything and will only give her opinion about something if it’s negative.
It sounds like your mom is worried that the fabric flowers will reflect poorly on her as your mom or on your family. But as long as your invites are worded so that it’s clear you two are hosting, not your parents, I don’t really see the problem. People have their opinions regardless of what you choose, and the flowers will not directly affect your guests as much as, say, the food.
People can get really opinionated about weddings. Especially about weddings that aren’t their own and are paid for with somebody else’s money! Although I guess if she’s paying for it or a lot of her friends are coming, that’s different for the above reasons.
Post # 7
She seems to have straightened out a bit. I took my mom & oma up on the offer to pay for real flowers. Conditions being they book it and get them there when I want and I have majority say in how they look. One less thing for me to plan!! I showed her the website I’m making and now she realizes that this all doesn’t have to be in the invite.
I know other stuff will come up but as my FI said the other night, the bride is the most important for that day and things should be done the way the bride wants. But he said if people want to pay for things and arrange them then the bride should let them as it is less for her to worry about. Just as long as the bride still likes what is being done.
Thank god one person in my life is sane!!
This weekend we are headed to see his parents, 12 hour drive, and we haven’t seen his family since being engaged, so it should be pretty exciting.
Post # 8
It’s very nice that your mom is going to pay for the flowers! It is totally a mom thing to make EVERY decision more difficult. She just wants you to be happy….with things that make her happy 😉