My mom said she wishes FIs family hated me :-( ***vent***

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MrsSweetT:  Buh???  Wow, that is such a strange comment 🙁

I’m so sorry you’re going through that.  Have you asked her why she said such a thing?

Post # 4
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsSweetT:  It sounds like she is very jealous of your relationship with them.

Post # 5
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It’s so wonderful to have an in law family that likes you.  I have that too!   I would keep focused on that. 

Post # 6
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@MrsSweetT:  Ah, I’ve noticed that a bit with my mom as well.  She’s a little jealous that I get along with FI’s mom and stepmom so well.  🙁  It makes certain conversations awkward but I’m certainly grateful that I’ve ended with these particular FILs!!  When my sister got married, her inlaws were horrible and have since disowned my BIL so my mom has never had to deal with my sister spending time with another mother figure or alternating holidays and all that so I think that may be part of the problem this time around. 

Post # 7
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think she may feel threatened by the relationship you have with his mom. Do you and your mom have a good relationship? I’m assuming that is probably why she said something like that.

Post # 8
Member
8418 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MrsSweetT:  Not everyone gets to have a sweet, loving mother.  When my mom says something terrible, I usually respond with an overly sweet tone.  In this case, I’d probably respond with, “Aww, I wish they hated you too.”

Post # 9
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I sometimes feel closer to MIL than to my mom, and though I’m sure my mother is jealous of or threatened by my relationship with MIL, she has never said anything about it.  I went to a wine festival with MIL and asked my mom to join us for some bonding, and she just shrugged and made a comment about how she doesn’t like wine and couldn’t afford to go anyway.  Meh, whatever, just let it roll off ya know?

Post # 10
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsSweetT:  she is probably jealous of your relationship with your FI’s parents. My mom is a awful person but I still love her SO much but I do get along better with my MIL. I think my mom is often upset that she couldn’t have been the person MIL is to me and that is kind of sweet…Your mom is who she is and you can only accept her and remind her that she is loved. 

Post # 13
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsSweetT:  that really just validates my point of letting her know that you love her! 🙂 

Post # 14
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsSweetT:  Aw, I totally feel you though because my mom hates that I like my in laws.  She likes them too so I don’t get it, but she’s just jealous I think because we live near them and not near her.  I wish she would be a normal mother and just be happy that I am happy and have in laws that i love and that love me back!  Oh well.

Post # 15
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MrsSweetT:  My Mom made the SAME EXACT COMMENT when I was with my ex!

Later, she clarified it as she felt that I “liked them more than her”, and I “was critial of her, but never of them”, and that I “never wanted to spend time with my (extended) family, but I was always ready to do it for them”

It was about insecurity with our relationship, not about her wishing bad things on me at ALL!

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