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My mom sent out pictures of my dress to EVERYONE!!!

posted 2 years ago in Dress
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    1.
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    Worker bee
    Miss Belle    September 2, 2011   Charleston, SC

    I have really close friends who I refused to even describe my dress to! At my family xmas party of over 30 people, a cousin all of a sudden started gushing over my dress! My FI didn't even know I'd gotten a dress. I'm so devistated I feel like my day was stolen from me. I know that's selfish but I don't care I worked my butt off to pay for my dress and didn't want anyone but my parents and bridal party to see it. I wanted it to be a complete suprise and now over half of my guest list already saw it. Whats worse, is this has caused yet another huge fude between me and my sister and my mom. I don't understand how I had a loving, reasonable, considerate, intelligent family until I got engaged!

     
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    Buzzing bee
    vistagirl    march , 2010   Oregon

    Oh! I'm so sorry!!! were they pics of you in it? I'm sure they will still be wowed by it. ((hugs))

     
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    daydreamwanderer       DC

    :( I'm so sorry!

    Has your FI seen it? Probably no one will show it to him, and that's really most important, right? Plus, you'll still look totally amazing (and way different from pics taken in a dress shop) once it's altered, you're in some spanx and full make up, hair and veil... you're still gonna wow the crowd.

    this stinks, but what's done is done, unfortunately. Maybe Mom should pass all wedding related correspondence by you in the future. :/

     
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    Worker bee
    Miss Belle    September 2, 2011   Charleston, SC

    thank you! no, initially I thought it was a photo of me, unaltered dress, no makeup, and wet hair. my internal hysterics were considerably calmed when I realized it was the stock photo of a model in the dress that went out.

     
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    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    Yeah, were they pix of you in it? It makes a HUGE difference. I mean, they will know if there are long sleeves or if it's strapless, but once you put it on it looks totally different. 

    In the meanwhile, tell your Mom you decided on a different dress so she'll stop. Tell her you are so embarrased you even considered that one and you'd appreciate if she'd stop showing people. 

     
    6.
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    Sugar bee
    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    OMG I would seriously kill my mom if she pulled something like that! At least it wasn't a pic of you in the dress. There's a huge difference between some stock shot of the dress and you actually in it. Still, wtf is wrong with moms sometimes?!? 

     
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    Bumble bee
    Miss Sapphire    December 2009   Seattle

    Oh my!  I also have only shown my FI and my mom so I'd be super pissed if a picture of it even went out.  Probably so much that I'd go and buy a new dress.

     

    Any idea what possessed her to send it out?

     
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    eloping    May 23, 2010  

    does you mum realize that she has done a big no-no and apologized?

    i would be banning her from any more wedding realted info pics as if it was me

     

     

     
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    rosychicklet    September 27, 2008   Boston, MA

    Wow.  I would be really upset if my mom had done that to me.

    Just remember that seeing the dress- even on you- is not going to be anything like seeing you in it on the big day- with you hair and makeup, accessories, flowers, and glowing smile.

    Try not to dwell on it and let it ruin the experience for you.

     
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    Blushing bee
    Palm Tree    8/14/10   Chicago Suburbs

    thats really no fair, I'm so sorry. I do think seeing a picture of the dress versus the dress in real life will be 2 totally different sites, so I think it will still be a "surprise".

    One of my **non engaged** bridesmaids decided she wanted to try on a wedding dress when we were all shopping for bridesmaids dresses, and worst of all my FMIL (her mom) said it was OK - I know what it feels like to have someone steal your thunder.

    I agree with rosychicklet, don't dwell and let someone else ruin it.

     

     
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    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    i realize it sucks. my mom decided to show my dress to everyone who walked in the door, because i stupidly left it at their house thinking my fi wouldn't see it there. i didn't realize everyone else in the world would. of course when i learned this, i told her that i'd like the dress to be a surprise, and she told me she was just excited about it which is why she felt the need to show it off. my positive thinking is that nobody on my fi's side has seen it, other than his mom, and that's a lot of people. plus, it's really not the end of the world. when you're all decked out in hair, makeup, jewelry, etc, people will think you look amazing and that's what matters.

     
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    crebre80    November 20, 2010   Baton Rouge, LA

    i agree with everyone else! and stock photos usually look NOTHING like the dress in person and on a real live person

     
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    JoeyBloom    December 31, 2011  

    Oh no! Really really sorry to hear about this. At times like this, I always try and revert to what my poppa has always said -- What were the intentions at the heart of action?  Your mom is clearly over the top excited.  As hard as it is, this is definitely one of those times when thinking about the intentions behind the action might bring some solace.  

     
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    Tulip61110    June 11, 2010   Philadelphia

    Wow I really feel for you...I can't believe your mom would do that.  At least it was the model photo and not a pic of you in it...but still, I would be really upset too.  Just remember you will look totally different with it on on your wedding day and people might even forget about what the dress looks like beforehand and still be surprised when they see you in it!

     
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    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Did she know it was secretive? Otherwise, that's something I could totally see my mom blabbing about! She'd just be so darn excited she couldn't keep it to herself!

     
    16.
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    Buzzing bee
    honeybun    June 5, 2010   VA

    I feel your pain Miss Belle.

    My mom printed out a picture of ME in MY dress and put it on her refrigerator. My FI totally saw it over Thanksgiving!!!!! First of all, I know she did it because I'm her daughter and I'm in a wedding dress and she wants to be able to look at it all the time LOL, but anyone who came to her house would see that!!! And then when she knew FI was coming over, she didn't even think to take it down for that?

    I had no idea it was even there until FI came out of the kitchen and nervously said "ummm is that you in your wedding dress on the fridge?" I ran in there to look, and there I was in all my 8" x 10" glory LOL. He swears all he saw was my face and white dress and he looked away immediately. But I mean, come on mom!!!!!

     
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    hautemama3    December 1, 2015   north east

    I would purchase a second dress and not tell anyone.  Use the first one as a ttd or sell it.  I would be upset too....

     
    18.
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    Helper bee
    hazel920    July 3, 2011   happy engagement land

    Miss Belle, I empathize w/ you. My future MIL printed out a picture of my dress from the designer’s website and shows it to anyone who will listen. She also thinks EVERYONE cares about my ring.  (I love my ring, don’t get me wrong but I know some people don’t care.)  Fiance and I had dinner w/ future MIL and FIL last week and we bumped into my high school teacher.  I introduced them and my high school teacher congratulated my fiancé and me. My MIL insisted I show the ring to my high school teacher! I don’t think my hs teacher cared. We just wanted to catch up.  Oh well.

     
    19.
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    Worker bee
    Jennifer20      

    I would be really upset if my mom did that to me.  People keep asking me what my dress looks like (in front of my fiance) and I have to keep telling them to wait to see at the wedding or give a vague description (if he isn't with me).  I don't think people realize that some brides want it to be a surprise for the big day.  

     
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    trailmix      

    That is frustrating but the good news is your wedding is almost 2 years away so by the time the big day arrives, everyone will have forgotten what your dress looks like! Plus, with your veil and accessories, it will look totally different.

    It seems like a talk with your mom over expectations for wedding-related stuff might be a good idea! Good luck and don't worry too much about people seeing your dress already, for the majority of those folks, it was just a glance and a "oooh, that's pretty" reaction before moving on to something else~

     
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    Blueshoes2    June 2010   PA

    I would be really upset if someone did that to me too.  However, I agree with everyone else, that dress is going to look TOTALLY different on you than it does on the model :)  Even if it were an actual picture of you trying it on, it's still going to look totally different when it's fitted to you and you're all done up.  Try not to let it get to you too much!

     
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    lara bee    9/4/09   Minneapolis

    My mom did the same thing. When I first found out I was miffed too because you do want people to be surprised.

    But, don't worry - it was just the mock picture of the dress with the model - not you. And you're going to ROCK that dress on your wedding day.

     
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    cinemaparadiso    July 16, 2015  

    This is exactly why I sent no pictures of me in the dress to my mom.. I felt like she would do something like this too! So sorry it happened to you, and I'm glad it was just the stock photo. I bet you'll look ten times more stunning than the model.

    However, that being said I would be just as pissed as you are! I would definitely be having a talk with my mom and, if she wasn't too receptive, hiding the rest of the details from her. NO WAY would she continue to disrespect you and not follow your wishes, right? I hope not!

    Good luck!

     
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    Lovespearls    June 13, 2010   New York & DC & Austin

    OMG I am so sorry that happened :( Gosh I dont blame you for being disapointed.  Thankfully though it was the picture of the model not you and I am sure you will look a million times better then the model anyway and on your wedding day everyone will still be shocked how gorgeous the dress is!

     
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    OfficeBride    2010  

    Oh no!  That totally sux :(  BUT - I'm sure you will look absolutely fabulous on the day off and blow everyone off their seats! 

     
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    Worker bee
    Miss Belle    September 2, 2011   Charleston, SC

    thanks everyone! I feel better now. I have come to terms with the fact that she had good intentions. I even went internet dress shopping again to see if maybe there was anything else out there of interest to me, but didn't see a thing which just really showed me how lucky I am that I found the perfect dress and was able to afford it.

     

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