Post # 1
Ladies, I am in tears as I write this. I knew that planning my wedding was going to be stressful because my mom is totally unreasonable about things. She is stressing out over the cost of the wedding, which I totally understand. But, she is paying for things that I DO NOT WANT. For example, she wants to include passed horderves which is an extra $10 per person. This is not necessary and could be cut to a simple fruit/cheese bar during the cocktail hour for only an extra $4 a person. She wants a photo booth which is going to cost $1000. She wants to pay for hotel rooms for some of our out of town guests. I told her these things are not necessary and she refuses to cut them! These “extras” are really adding up and she told me to today to tell my fiance’s mom that if the 23 people on her list who she does not believe will come that if they actually DO come, that my fiance’s mom and dad will have to pay for them. WHAT!?! I’m just so over all of this. She is incredibly mean to me and makes me feel like I’m a spoiled rotten brat for having a wedding this extravagant when in all actuality it’s HER that wants all of it. She told me today that “this whole wedding is a total nightmare.” She’s ruining ALL OF THIS for me when it should be a fun and enjoyable experience. I don’t know what to do. I’m just heartbroken over all of it.
Post # 3
Wow is there any way you can pull out and not take her money? If it’s going to cause that many problems, is it really worth it to have a “dream wedding” that you don’t even want?
Post # 4
I am so sorry you feel this way. It all becomes VERY overwhelming for everyone involved. I would cut some of the costs and figure out how much it would save and then address that to your Mom and let her know you would rather cut these out so that costs could be used elsewhere. Good luck!!!
Post # 5
Oh date twin, I am sorry to hear that!!! Is there any way you can express to her that she can cut some of these costs and save everyone a lot of heartache? I mean, have you told her that she is the one making the wedding a nightmare? Try to calm down and talk to her calmly and ask her why she thinks the wedding is a nightmare, and if you can suggest a solution to each of her points, maybe she will start to see the light.
Post # 6
Sorry..my mom is being the same way. We are still 9 months out from the weddng date, but I can see a nightmare begining to grow. The only thing that’s worked for me thus far is being easy going about stuff…not arguing with her and letting her do things her way if I know it won’t kill me.
Post # 7
I was in the same boat with my mother. DH and I joke that this was her wedding. She overspent and blamed me for it when she had to have x,y,z and I would have been happy with a,b,c. She was determined to have frozen margaritas to which i told her the children would want a slushie. So we nixed signature drinks and had sodas and beer. When I told her we didn;t have to have certain things it was this is my money and I will spend it how I want. Then 3 weeks before the wedding I was accused of taking her broke with this wedding that I had to have and wouldn;t I rather have just gone to the JOP. I said nope…I would rather have the original wedding I planned on first…lol.
Post # 8
Sorry your mother is stressing you this way. It is almost like she is trying to plan the wedding of “her” dreams and yelling at you for the cost. Being that your wedding is still months away the stress and tensions will only get worse, talk to her NOW. Let her know that you want to pull things back.