- 3 years ago
Ok, I’m twenty. My twenty first birthday is in a few months. Let me preface this by saying I have NEVER drank alcohol. Not one drop. I’ve been there to take care of friends who were drinking, at home and on trips. I just never did. I really want to hold off till my 21st and so far, so good. None of my family or friends are big drinkers, so it hasn’t been a problem. Even on my 21st, I’m not interested in going bar-hopping. Honestly, I wanna go to Applebee’s or somewhere I can get boneless BBQ wings and have a drink with dinner and just hang out with friends. My best friend has always wanted to take me to get my first drink, ever since I was fifteen. And I really just want it to be my friends and my SO (who has already agreed to be the designated driver since he won’t be able to drink anyways).
However, my mom wants to be there. I will say she and I don’t have the greatest relationship. Maybe if we did… But anyways. I don’t want her there. The first time I drink is special to me, and I want it to be me and my friends, not have my mother leaning over holding my hand. Plus my mom drinks hard stuff when she does drink and to be totally honest, I trust her judgment less than that of my friends (all of whom are older than me, btw, except SO). If her and my dad want to have a family thing, fine, but I really want my first drink to be me and my BFF, like we’ve planned since before I could drive. I want my mom there about as much as I want her there on my wedding night. And it also might be different if she wanted to be there because it is a milestone, but she has made it clear that isn’t the reason. She doesn’t think I’ll be safe, she doesn’t trust my SO (who I’ve known for 18 years) or my friends (all from high school, so they’ve all been in my life 4-5 years) to keep me safe while we have a drink in a restaurant.
I don’t know. Maybe it’s normal for a mom to want to be there but it’s just not something I want. None of my friends have had there parents there. And it doesn’t help that she treats me like a child in other areaa of my life- for instance last semester there was a sexual assault on campus. She found out and made my dad or my SO drive all the way to campus (from home it’s a 30 minute drive) just to walk me from class to my car- NOT to pick me up, but to walk me to the fricking parking lot.I humored her because it was easier than arguing and I only had like three classes left in the semester. She forgot all about it over the break. Also, everytime SO and I even mention our plans to move out, she bursts out crying. I think she’s trying to talk my dad into moving closer to the college I’m transfering to so I won’t have to move. She treats me like I’m five and can’t make any decisions of my own.
I don’t know how to get around it without her pitching a cry baby fit (I live with her, so there’s no getting around it, and she’s emotionally unstable because of untreated borderline personality disorder) or getting mad (also a possibility with her unpredictable moods). I get that no parent wants their kid to grow up, especially not their baby girl, but this is just ridiculous, in my opinion. I’m hoping she’ll forget by then but she’s brought it up more than once so I’m losing hope of that happening. Honestly I think think this was morea rant about how she treats me in general than just about the drinking thing. I could maybe handle that by itself.