Post # 1
I’m not a professional baker, but I do bake fun-shaped birthday cakes for all of my friends, every year.. and I do bake other things quite often.
I told my mom that I wanted to bake my own wedding cupcakes. She told me she’s “not letting me.”
I’ve tried telling her that a bakery will bake the actual cake DAYS before the event, and will freeze the layers. This is why everyone hates wedding cake: because it’s dry (because it has been frozen for a few days.)
…And none of the bakeries in the area (upstate NY, where we’re having our wedding) make swiss meringue buttercream frosting. They only make standard buttercream (butter+powdered sugar) or cream cheese frosting. Yuck.
I’m not trying to be an assh*le, but here in Los Angeles, there’s just so much variety. And EVERY bakery knows/makes swiss meringue buttercream.
I’m having my wedding in my hometown… where everyones idea of a delicious cake is the kind that comes from the grocery store bakery. 🙁
I know I can bang-out 50 cupcakes in 1 afternoon, no problem. AND I know they’ll cost less than letting a bakery do it, AND they’ll taste better. But she’s not going to let me use her kitchen.
Sorry for the rant..I’m just kinda ticked off right now. :
ETA: I guess I should mention that the FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, so there is no financial burden to her on this matter.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I think you can do what you want and your mother can’t “not let” you do anything. However, you’re also so far out right now that I would just tackle it later. Another option for you might be to give a frosting recipe to a baker out there.
Post # 4
@LadyMoriarty: Put your foot down on this: your wedding, your decision. I bake part-time, 50 cupcakes is nothing. Right now, the game plan is for me to make ALL of our cakes and pies. It sounds so much more daunting than it is. You’ve got this! Stand your ground and bake your little heart out 🙂
Post # 5
I kind of have to side with your mom on this one. You’re not going to have the time or the energy to be baking cupcakes the day before your wedding. She’s probably been involved in more weddings than you, and probably knows better the complete chaos those last few days can be. Why add one more thing to your to-do list when you can pay someone and not have to worry about it? Trust me, as your wedding gets closer, you’ll get to the point where you’d give your right arm to have “one more afternoon” to get ready.
Post # 6
If she won’t let you use her kitchen can you use a friend’s or family member’s. That’s really weird that your mom is behaving this way. I don’t see the problem with making your own damn cupcakes!
Post # 7
Just stop talking to your mom about cake and bake your own stuff if it makes you happy. 🙂
Post # 8
Is there anyone else that will let you use their kitchen? She can’t stop you from having homemade cupcakes, but technically it’s her right to deny you her kitchen (I think it’s silly but if that’s how she feels nothing you can do).
Post # 9
Put your foot down and tell her you have already made the decision to bake them yourself.
My mom wasn’t happy when she found out that I’m assembling my own invitations and said we have to get professionally made ones. I just told her that I won’t send her one if she thinks they will look like crap lol. She quickly backed up on what she said!
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
@fishbone: +1. I hate to be the negative nancy here, but there were some relatively simple DIY projects I had planned to do the week of the wedding, and they just didn’t get done. It’s so hard to imagine in advance how much cray will happen, how many unexpected things will pop up – and how many last-minute other details will need to be sorted out that you didn’t anticipate! I am an obsessive planner and had spreadsheets and lists, and researched everything with the hope that our wedding week would be fun and laid-back. Even so, we got constant calls from vendors, calls from family members who couldn’t make it to the wedding due to a hurricane, all kinds of decisions to make, and random stuff. Especially since you’re traveling home for your wedding – and it sounds like it’ll be kind of a DW – chances are you’ll be super busy. Even if the store-bought cupcakes aren’t *omgamazing*, it’s one less stress!
Post # 11
For the record, I’m not saying this to be insulting. But are you 100% confident your cupcakes are as good as you think they are? If she’s THAT opposed to your baking, it may be that she’s not confident that you’ll be able to whip up 50 cupcakes in a different kitchen with a different oven. Or she may feel that she’s purchased cupcakes at the local grocery that taste better to her. Taste is a very subjective thing – while you may think your style is better, that may not be reflective of the guest preferences. Some people really like the grocery store cupcakes. I know, I’m dying a little bit inside as I type. But that’s how it is. Our local chocolatier does an amazing raspberry chipotle chocolate that I adore. They also have a lemongrass infused chocolate with lime leaves and curry that’s delicious. But if I had those on the sweet table, the majority of my guests would go “Ewww!” and not even try them.
Post # 12
What about telling her about (and having) a backup plan? Even if it’s just “such and such grocery store always has enough cupcakes and they’re delicious” (even if they’re only delicious by your guests’ standards and not by yours? I’m guessing she’s just worried you won’t have enough time.
Post # 13
@LadyMoriarty: can you use someone else’s kitchen for the afternoon to make the cupcakes? if you are organized and have good time management, you can totally make these cupcakes the day before.
my mother told me that a bride shouldn’t make her own cake b/c it’s bad luck. (i made my last cake). i’ve never heard of it but she was the same way your mom is.
Post # 14
same boat 🙁
We planned on making our own gf cake and then cupcakes/other desserts for the guests and my mom keeps telling me that I need to just buy a cake and giving me grief for it…but she isn’t willing to help pay for one.Cupcakes from bakers in my small town/area start at $3 each! NO WAY am I going to pay $300 for cupcakes that I can make myself!
Post # 15
Knowing moms and what moms are like, I say start baking them anyway, and then she’ll be forced to help because she doesn’t want you to “mess them up”. Haha. 😉
Bake your heart out, girl!
Post # 16
Just a word of caution: check with your venue and your caterer. Many will not allow food that is not made in a licensed, commercial kitchen.
Several years ago on the knot there was a bride who ended up with no wedding cake because of this. Grandma made ALL the wedding cakes and made hers too. When Grandma went to deliver the cake the venue refused it because it didn’t come from a commercially licensed kitchen and the bride never thought to ask about it. This bride had 300 wedding guests and a crapload of cake the next day! Check before you override mom.