Post # 1
I don’t really have anyone to vent to about this, but sometimes I just want to punch people in the face. This is not wedding related, just venting ..
I love my mom. She’s crazy sometimes but she’s a really good person, friend and mother. Her whole life she’s been treated like shit by every friend she’s made. My dad cut his best man out of his life because of the way his wife treated my mom. We lived in a neighborhood full of women who had girl’s night outs, poker nights for the guys, she had a group of ten friends and it was great. Then one day they decided they didn’t like her. They cut her out of everything, stopped inviting her. My dad lost all of the neighborhood friends too because the husbands didn’t want to be involved in the drama. My mom was surprisingly okay with all of this. I think she realized they were living in the Desperate Housewives and those bitches weren’t worth it, but it did take her a while to get over.
There was one woman who used to live in that neighborhood but moved long before all the crap happened. They reconnected and became best friends. She stuck by my mom, they had double dates, for years everything was good. But she’s a total flake, and she’s totally selfish. She gets engaged to a new guy every year, is always bringing the drama and never knows what she wants. At one point she broke up with her fiance and hit rock bottom or something, and my parents loaned her a large amount of money and let her live with them for months. For my dad’s 50th, they paid for her hotel and plane ticket to go to the Bahamas to celebrate with them (long after she moved out, got a house and a new boyfriend).
Now, its my mom’s 50th (she doesn’t look it with all the stress she goes through!) and they want to go back to the Bahamas again. They planned this months ago. But her friend has a new rich old fiance and has no time for my mom. Has been blowing her off, and says she won’t celebrate her birthday with her because its too expensive. My parents know for a fact that her fiance would pay for them to go if she asked and they go away often. But she just doesn’t care about my mom anymore it seems. I’m so pissed off. I know you can’t judge people’s situations, but my mom has done so much for her and its all take take take with her. This is always what happens with Mom though, she gives her entire self to someone and gets shit on. My mom throws the best parties, gets the most thoughtful gifts and would do anything for her friends.
I think this bothers me so much because I know exactly how it is. I’ve never kept a friend for more than a few years before they “move on” and decide I’m not worth it. I always push people away now, and I keep my circle of friends extremely small. I don’t know why people think they can treat someone however they want with no empathy. I’m all empathy, I cry at commercials! But I really hate people. If it wasn’t for FI I dont know what I would do, I believe I’m the definition of a misanthrope. I’ve just seen too much of the real side of people to attempt friendships. My mom keeps trying though, and my heart breaks whenever someone makes her cry 🙁
Post # 3
I’m so sorry for all your mom has gone through. It’s really sad and really stinks when other people don’t appreciate your efforts and friendship, no matter how hard you try. Your mom was right about those other neighborhood women though, it sounds to me that they weren’t worthy of your mom’s friendship judging by how terribly they behaved towards her. I think that maybe they were jealous of her, because it sounds like your mom’s got it all: She’s an amazing person and has a wonderful husband and daughter. My mom actually has a friend that went through a similar experience as your mom: My mom and her friend were in a group of friends together, they went to lunch together, the kids played together, etc. Then one day, unexpectedly, the friend’s husband passed away. You would think that when something tragic like this happens, your friends would be there for you? Nope, not these friends. My mom managed to stay out of it, but the other ladies in the group were completely heartless: They treated this friendly terribly while she was going through the worst possible thing in her life–losing her husband! This was years ago, and this friend has completely turned her life around and her kids are doing well too, and she has not spoken to these so called “friends” since.
I still feel as though you should give friendships a chance. You are taking a risk when you open yourself up to others, taking in the good and bad, but it is so worth it once you do find those friends who appreciate you for who you are. From my experiences, I’ve found that not all friendships are meant to last forever, and that some people only come into our lives for a short time, while others stay in for the long run.
Post # 4
If your mom lived near me I’d be her best friend. She sounds like just the type of friend I’m looking for. 🙁
Post # 5
Oh lord, this sounds just like what happened to me in high school. I thought women grew out of that petty bullsh*t. 🙁
Give your mom some extra hugs from the bees next time you see her!
Post # 6
*Hugs* for your mum and yourself. Im sorry they cant see how great she is, but you know who her best friend in all this is? You 🙂
Post # 7
Aw hi guys! I figured this one just dropped off the map, I knew it was pretty long.
We’ve all been trying to plan a really awesome birthday for her, even though I’m so far away. When she arrives at the beach house there will be mimosa’s and a birthday cake waiting for her, and my dad is going to take her on a private cruise around the island. I think she’s doing better now, but I know how much shit she’s gone through and it breaks my heart to see this happen to her when I know how awesome of a person she is.
@Cremebrulee41: thank you for sharing your story, its so cruel how people show their true colors when their friends need them the most.
We have become much better friends since I’ve moved out (we’re too similar, in HS we fought like cats) but I’ve always appreciated her. She’s been the best mom through the whole wedding process and I really want her to know that even though other people may come and go, family is forever and we love her. As for my own issues, I do have friends that I love, they are just very far away. I get bitter and cynical easily, especially living in a place where we don’t care to be. Thank you all for reading 🙂