(Closed) My mom’s not helping (Vent)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Winter12: I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. I can’t give you any advice because I am in the same boat!!! My FH’s Aunt/Mom is more excited than my mother also.  I guess the only thing we can do is keep our head up and keep on with the planning. If your Mom is not interested then you should go with someone else who will care and enjoy the experience. Or maybe you can narrow your choices down then ask her to go with you. But then if you’ve already done that and invited your mom and she is acting like a limp noodle about it, then just forget it.  At least you have done your duty as a daughter and tried to include her…..missing this experience with you will be her loss. There is no need to aggrevate yourself further.

You must be feeling disappointed but…..”Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it”

Post # 5
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am sorry you are having to go through this. Your wedding is still over a year away, so you mom might be reacting to that. Hopefully, she will get more excited as your wedding gets closer.

Post # 6
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m sorry you are going through this. My mother…is not as excited as I wish she would be either. She seems to just want to be there for the dress (Or I think so.. she showed up for two appointments I had and missed one because she wanted to see my nephew play a football game…that she could pretty much see every week or so) and has only asked about who was in the wedding. My FMI is more excited and involved for sure and I’m thankful she is happy and excited for us.

What I do is just focus on the planning…and have decided the close friends and family who deicde to not be excited and care to be involved or ask questions just get to be on my invite list. I just get annoyed and then try to get over it 5 minutes later. I do at least have a few family and friends still very excited and always letting me know of ideas or things they saw for wedding stuff.

Hang in there!

Post # 8
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

@Winter12: She could also be sad that you are growing away from her. If you live close enough to her, try taking her to lunch once a week or once every two weeks or once a month; depending on your schedules. I am a mom of older children and I know I come across as seeming not to care sometimes when really I do. I love my children with all my heart and sometimes I have a hard time sharing them with others. If this is a new behavior for her, she is probably feeling a sense of loss, even though you have been on your own for some time now. Just let her know that you love her and she will always be your mom and you will always be there for her. She will come around and get more excited for you. She just has to get used to the idea.

Post # 9
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My mother is the same way, but she actually likes my FI! They aren’t paying, she wouldn’t go dress shopping, has no interest in my plans, and when I told her we were engaged she said oh yeah?

We are a stable couple, unlike my sisters relationships (sorry to my sissies, but my mother has said this). My mom has commented that she thinks FI is like my dad, which is a very good thing. Although, they (my parents) seem like they want us to have drama, we don’t.

I have pretty much given up on having her help and decided to just have her as another invited guest.

Post # 11
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@noritake22: That is actually a really good point. I sometimes wonder what the heck my Mom is thinking because she doesn’t communicate very well……lol, not until she upset anyway.

Post # 13
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Winter12: I completely understand your frustration. That is exactly how I feel. My 2 BMs are pissy too and I think it’s because they are not happy where they are in life right now. But there is nothing I can do about that, they made their own bed. FH and I actually had to move out our wedding day (originally 06/25/11) to accomodate my Mom and 2 BMs (sisters) and they are still not happy.

So, I would take Noritake22’s advice about talking it out with Mom and see where that goes. Then as far as your BMs…..Say, “this is the dress i would like you to wear and in this color”. It’s your wedding afterall.

If they are being pissy for petty reasons, you gottas ask yourself, “do you want these people standing next to you on your special day?”. 

The topic ‘My mom’s not helping (Vent)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors