- 4 years ago
- Wedding: February 2015 - Mount Hermon
Is absolutely beautiful. She got married in ’85, but the dress doesn’t look like it (my dad’s glasses do).
Lace ballgown, hoop skirt, illusion neckline, real silk-covered buttons (not fake ones that sit over a zipper) and handmade by her grandmother for my grandmother’s wedding in 1957. I would give anything to wear this.
The problem is that my grandma is 5’11” and my mom is 5’9″. I’m 5’4″. And because of that scalloped bottom, it can’t be hemmed. And even if it could, we all know ballgowns make petite girls look like cake toppers. Great. I’m also a little bit larger than my size seriously-how-is-that-even-possible mother and grandmother were at the time of their weddings. Point being, there’s no way I can wear it without some serious restructuring. And the lace is…..well, pushing 60 years old. It’s not in great condition. And on top of all that, FI desperately wants me to wear my own dress, that is my own style, that I went on my adventure to find.
My compromise was that I could take the lace and make a sash, headband, or wrap it around my bouquet, or all of the above (I’m not wearing a veil). My grandma was all for it and I was on top of the world, having been able to find a compromise.
Enter reality. My mom said “hell no.”
She refuses to let it be cut at all, despite the fact that the first time in 15 years anyone has touched or seen it will be Saturday, when my grandma takes it out so we can see what kind of condition it’s in. She knows it just stays in its chest, but claims that it’s somehow a museum piece.
She’s agreed that we could take it to an experienced seamstress who knows how to work with vintage dresses and have it rebuilt to fit me (which would cost way more than just buying a new dress). But she won’t let me just take a piece of it to use some other way.
Rereading this I sound like such a spoiled brat. I know I can’t wear it, and FI doesn’t want me to anyway. But getting married without even a bit of it breaks my heart.
Ugh, I’m so sad and I know I have no right to be. How can I get mad at my mom for saying “No, you can’t cut up my wedding dress for a sash”?