(Closed) My Moms words….Its not about you its about me!!! um this IS my wedding right??

posted 8 years ago in Money
  • poll: What should I do about the dress my mom wears to walk me down the aisle?
    Let her do what she wants? : (41 votes)
    66 %
    Compromise and pick one that meets halfway? : (11 votes)
    18 %
    Pick it out myself and if she doesnt like it to damn bad? : (2 votes)
    3 %
    Let her wear the dress as a guest and not walk me down aisle? : (8 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4466 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I hate to be the voice of dissent, but I think you should let your mom wear whatever she wants.  I’m not of the belief that the moms have to “match” the theme or whatever of the wedding.  I had no say in my mom or FMIL’s dresses.

    Everyone is going to be looking at you because you are in the one in a bridal gown.  Your mom will not overshadow you.  Remember that she is excited to look nice on the day as well.

    Edited to add: I looked at the dress I think you’re talking about on the Cache website.  It doesn’t really look to be “too much” to me.  And it’s black like you wanted.  It just looks like a black evening gown.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1562 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    one word: ELOPE.

    haha. just kidding – trying to put a smile on your face. 🙂

    I really am so very sorry you are having these issues right now. ((((HUGS)))) to you

    Post # 6
    Member
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Yeah, I agree with Hotchild, you should let your Mom wear whatever she wants. HOnestly, I know you don’t see it this way, but by letting go it’s one less thing to worry about. If she wants to look ridiculous walking down the aisle that’s her choice. No one will be looking at her, everyone will be looking at you. She could be in a clown costume and no one would care. And it’s not worth fighting over, trust me, you will have plenty of other things to fight over!

    Post # 7
    Member
    1189 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    Don’t worry.  It truly doesn’t matter what she wears, no one will be glowing like you and trust me–all eyes will be on you during that aisle walk.  Have the BEST time! 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    ditto HotChildChild

    edit: I just looked at the dress and I have to say that I think it looks like a simple, elegant black evening gown.  I don’t really see anything wrong or over the top.  And actually I think it fits with your timeless romance theme.  The tulle and bow really tie that together.  let your mom feel beautiful.  You’re the one getting married so yes it’s you day but she should get to feel beautiful as well.

    is this the dress?

    Post # 9
    Member
    4466 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @Meowkers: That’s the one I found as well.  And agree that it looks fine. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    What about having her try the dress she found on at the same time you try yours on… Then you can see exactly how they look together and if it’s too distracting then explain in a calm manner that this is your wedding day and your time to be in the spotlight…  she had her wedding and had her chance.  And despite all that has happened recently with her illness, you just want what any bride wants on her wedding day..

    Post # 12
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think that’s a lovely dress and the wedding dress code is whatever the bride says, so if it’s formal your mom will be appropriate even in the afternoon.  I also think it goes great with the bridesmaids dresses.  What does you dress look like? 

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    i love your BM dresses.  LOVE.  I also like the alternative dress you posted for you mom.  However I have to say, while they are different I think they both have the same vibe.  neither is less formal or more afternoonish than the other.  I also think they both work equally well with the BM dress.  Why do you think the dress you chose is more appropriate?  (just curious)

    Post # 14
    Member
    4466 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I don’t really see the big difference between the one your mom wants and the one you suggested.  They’re both black evening gowns.  I would just let her get the one she picked.  In wedding planning, you have to pick your battles and I would let you mom “win” this one.

    ETA: I saw the picture of your dress in the other post.  Not only is your mom’s dress never going to overshadow that, but also your gown is extremely glam and formal.  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the tone of your mom’s choice.

    Post # 15
    Member
    5263 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think that dress is fine. If I was in your place, I’d let her have the dress she feels beautiful in since it’s not inappropriate at all. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I see why you’re upset because you don’t like the dress and it’s not what you envisioned but I think you should just let it go and let her wear a dress she wants to wear. She’s not going to overshadow you or whatever – she’s the mother of the bride. You are the bride. Everybody looks at the bride. If she feels beautiful in that dress then let her wear it. IMO the style is too young for a mother, but if she doesn’t care about dressing age-appropriate then whatever. It’s not worth the battle. She’s been sick and stuff so just let her win this one.

    The topic ‘My Moms words….Its not about you its about me!!! um this IS my wedding right??’ is closed to new replies.

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