Post # 1
Is anyone else having problems with their moms and wedding planning? My mother doesn’t seem to like anything about the wedding I am planning and might I add paying for all on my own well with help from my Fiance! She doesn’t like the date b/c it is the Saturday before Mother’s Day, she doesn’t think the colors I picked are pretty, she doesn’t like the shoes I picked out for me or my bridesmaids, the food selection, etc, etc, etc….Geez what else could she possibly find to complain about. Any suggestions on how to handle a mom who just won’t be happy for you? Thanks for any input you ladies have on this situation. HELP!!!
Post # 3
Well, she has a right to her opinions, right? Sometimes I think it seems like moms, or sisters, etc, get crazy around weddings because unlike other people (coworkers, most friends,) they are extremely comfortable around you, and don’t hesitate to give their opinions. After all, your mom is probably, in her own way, trying to make sure your wedding comes off beautifully.
With all that said, mom is getting overly worked up over some things. (BM shoes?) She could use a little more zen. She might be getting nerves because of this new chapter in your life, and what that could mean for her and your relationship with her. If it helps her to have more of a say in the wedding, perhaps get her into trying on her own MOB dresses. Go with her. She can get caught up in that for a while. Let her pour over pics on the designers’ websites, etc. Also, is there some things you coudl use her opinion on? Bouquets or favors? Just make sure it’s something you can easily work with her on. If she clocks a bunch of hours into a project and you just veto it, and use something else, She might get pretty ticked.
Lastly, don’t forget to spend time with her. Let her know that you’ll always be her little girl. 🙂
Post # 4
I think it’s because she felt left out. My mom really wanted to be involved (but didn’t want to “impose”) and was a bit unfriendly . . . until I started inviting her places. Like I had already picked my reception site, but when I invited her to have lunch there before I made my final decision, she was thrilled. She went to visit the hotel I was thinking about using for the block of rooms too. She really backed off after I got her involved in a few of the big decisions. She was kinda critical until I showed her what I had in mind. Worked wonders! Now, she’s kinda busy and doesn’t ask me questions or “bug” me any more.
Post # 5
Thank you both so much for your kind words! This is really useful and helpful info. I will try it out on her and see. Thanks again and happy planning!
Post # 6
I agree with both previous posts. I’ve been engaged for almost 4 months now, and my mom and FMIL have both gone through a couple of diffferent phases. Sometimes they felt left out, sometimes my mom felt like she was doing all the work, sometimes they think I’m not excited enough, and sometimes they just genuinely think their ideas are better than yours. They have strong opinions about what they envision your wedding to be. Keeping the lines of communication open is definitely the key.
My mom initially had a huge issue with the date and was dead set on me having the wedding on a Sunday. In order to smooth things over with the family, I sent out a nice email telling everyone the available dates and asking for opinions of pros and cons. This really helped. My mom didn’t get her way and I am getting married on a Saturday, but she is totally ok with it now.
I think going shopping for MOB or your dress is the perfect idea to get things going in the right direction. And maybe you could add an accent color somewhere that will get her to like the colors. Don’t let it get you down. Hopefully it is just a phase and it will pass if you take more steps to include her.