My money? His money? Our money!

posted 3 years ago in Money
  • poll: Have you and your FI/DH/SO combined your finances?
    Yes, and it works for us : (55 votes)
    43 %
    Yes, but it's caused us problems : (0 votes)
    No, and we're not going to : (23 votes)
    18 %
    No, but we plan to : (50 votes)
    39 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    811 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Didn’t see an option for this….Husband and I share a joint savings and checking, and then we each have our own accounts as well.  Most of our $$ goes into joint accounts.  Works great for us!  We are both in our mid 30s and had our own debts and investments, so pooling 100% of our money just didn’t make sense for us.

    We talked alot about our spending habits and philosophies before combining, though.  Its good to be on the same page!

    Post # 4
    Member
    193 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @carebee:  It’s definitely a tricky topic.  FI and I will be combining our finances once we buy a house together.  Currently I’m still living at my parents and he is still living at his.  Our parents homes are only about 20 minutes apart, so it works for us.  We figured we’ll keep the current living situations for a bit so that we can really save up and buy a house. 

    By far, I am much better with money than he is.  Both my parents are bankers and I’ve always grown up with a ton of financial education, how to make the right financial choices etc.  Given our lines of work, I will likely end up making more than he will, and that’s something we’re both okay with.  I totally understand the “wow, we are really sharing everything now!” kind of feeling.  When we decided that we would combine finances, I was worried that I would feel like I’d lose my independence, that he would randomly make a poor financial choice etc. but we talked it through.

    I think your FI has it right…as long as both of you are comfortable with it, then go for it.  Money is certainly a touchy subject for some.  For us, we’ve both been very open with each other about our finances and financial goals, so I think it will work out for us.

    Early congratulations on your upcoming wedding! 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    4576 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @carebee:  He is looking forward to us totally combining finances. I, on the other hand, still have some reservations, which is probably natural considering my mother is on her 5th divorce.

    I’m going to suggest a compromise of one joint account and still keeping our seperate ones. I love him more than anything, but I’m a big fan of CYA.

    Post # 6
    Member
    11300 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @hassle_J:  This is what we plan on doing. No sense in only having one account! We’ll add one another as beneficiaries on our other stuff (my 401k, his portfolio), and then have a joint account for bills and whatever, and then our individual accounts for fun stuff. We have different banks, but they work well together (I’m with a local CU and he uses a big bank, but I can use his bank’s ATMs for free).

    Post # 7
    Member
    8425 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    My husband and I combined our finances when we got our own apt together (we were bf/gf then).  I actually manage all the finances (bills, savings, etc) and he basically gets an “allowance” each week; however I don’t work (he does).  It works for us and we never fight about money.

    Post # 8
    Hostess
    22135 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Combining finances works for us. Just so much easier for it to be “our” money.

    You’re right, it’s a big step. But if it’s what you want to do, I know you can do it. 😉

    Post # 9
    mswallabyBee
    2070 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

    I was a little worried about combining finances, and I wanted to have separate “allowances.” DH thinks I spend too much on clothes and haircuts, while I don’t like him dropping a lot of money on electronics. So we started out with a joint account for bills, and separate (but linked) accounts for our allowances. Honestly, it was just too inconvenient to carry 2 debit cards, and I never used my “allownace.” After a month we just combined everything, and we haven’t had a single fight or argument over money. We have somewhat similar salaries and neither of us has any debt (other than our mortgage and my DH’s small car note) so combining seemed fair, and I think it will help us get into the mode of “what’s yours is mine” if I decide to be a stay-at-home-mom for awhile and DH is the only breadwinner.

    That said – we have pretty similar spending habits. (See above – our spending kind of balances out!) My parents have very different philosophies on spending, so I’ve seen most of their arguments throughout my life be over money. It doesn’t hurt to start out with combined finances, and see how it goes! 

    Post # 10
    Member
    161 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We combined our finances right after the wedding.  We make about the same.  And I am much better with managing money so I pay the bills.  I find it’s just easier to pay bills when everything comes from the same pot (so to speak).  But we keep a register online so he can update his receipts and is always in the know about what bills are paid and how much we have.  It works for us.  We never fight over money. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    We like having fully combined accounts. We treat everything as “our money”. For example, I am getting a raise starting next week. We are dividing the raise amount equally, and each of us will allocate our amounts as an increase in our retirement account contributions. We will both benefit equally from the increased income because it is shared as equals. We are in constant communication about finances, upcoming expenses, progress on our savings goals, etc. It works for us because we have similar spending philosophies and happily consult each other about any unplanned purchases. We haven’t had any unpleasant surprises. 🙂 

    Post # 12
    Member
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @badabing88:  We are doing the same. We will have a joint account but still keep 2 separate checking accounts. I make 3.5x more than my FI and he thinks I spend too much but doesnt understand that I make a lot more than him. I guess we will see how well it will work.

    Post # 13
    Member
    4576 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @gelaine22:  Same here. Not that big of a difference, but there are things he spends money on that I never would.

    Post # 14
    Member
    505 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @hassle_J:  Same (minus the age and debt part). OP, You need to update your poll, this is very common!

     

     

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    5199 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    We’re going through an immigration process so we’ll officially combine once we are living in the same place.  That said, right now we still look at it as “our” money, we just don’t actually have access to each other’s accounts.  We keep each other up to date on changes in our earnings, net worth, etc.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3424 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    We don’t combine but we have a “House account” under MY name, which I may or may not add his name to. We each put the same amount of money pr paycheck and that is  just for house and home stuff (rent, bills, food) anything left afterwards is for our own personal use. 

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