Post # 1
I wanted to have your opinion on this, if I should be hurt / do it anyways.
My mom callled me yesterday morning telling me she had seen my facebook post and was..weirded out by it.
Our wedding theme is The Legend of Zelda series as me and Fiance are huge fans of this vide game series and are gamers. Being cosplayers / costumers aswell, it fits us well.
I am wiccan, my Fiance is catholic but does not go to church. We decided on a church wedding because it would mean alot to his parents and I love my in-laws who are, might I add, very supportive of everything and love our theme. I recwntly spoke with Fiance about how I would love to have gorgeous fairy wings made for our wedding. It would match the theme and my medieval gown and he agreed. If anybody wonders, we are both 26.
I asked the help of my costuming friends on facebook as to where to get the supplies and how to make them. My mother found out and called me, telling that” with two preggo bridmaids, one who is transgender and one who will make her dress, couldn’t I be normal for a day?” She does not want our side of the family to speak, it’s going to look stupid, etc.
My Fiance says the only thing that should stop me from having my wings would be if the priest would not like it. I love my mom…but I really want those beautiful fairy wings made out of fantasy film.
I’m sorry this is long!
Bees, what should I do?
Post # 3
Your wedding, your day, your rules. My fiance and i arent having a typical wedding either (our reception is in a soccer stadium). My mom had reservations before i showed her my vision, now she loves it. Its your day, it should be true to who you are. I think it could be really cute!
Post # 4
you probably won’t like what I have to say but I don’t get the wings thing either – it’s not about being “normal” or not, I just don’t understand why a wedding would be an appropriate time to bust out in costume. I understand bringing personal preferences and your and your FI’s personality into your wedding to a reasonable point. I think a lot of weddings with “themes” are way overdone and take away from the fact a wedding is a serious event. All in all, I think you can bring your interests and personality to your wedding without dressing up in costume. Just my point of view.
And yes, while it is your wedding, it is also about bringing two families together so I do believe in respecting both of your families wishes for some things when it comes to the wedding – regardless of who is paying for it.
Serious question – do you go around in your everyday life wearing wings (to work, etc?) If not, then why would you do it on your wedding? Just my line of thinking…
Post # 5
Could you maybe compromise and wear the wings at your reception and dance (if you have one) and just go a little more on the traditional side for your mom for your wedding? I mean you can still wear whatever dress you want, but compromise on the wings to satsify both sets of parents?
While it is you and your FI’s day, it is also about your guests, and depending on how close you are with your parents I would compromise on this one.
Post # 7
Look I think you should always be yourself. I think it’s cool when couples incorporate things they like into their wedding whether that sports, Disney which seems to be popular these days, or whatever else. People are always going to be put off by anyone doing things that aren’t traditional.
My only caution is sometimes people get so caught up in the theme they lose site of what should be most important theme which is marriage, commitment and love. I think there is a way to tasteful incorporate this theme, one way is by not being so literal in your interpretation. To find a nice balance between expressing yourself and not making your family and guest feel uncomfortable.
To be completely honest I don’t know how serious I could take a bride in wings. I think it’s important to wear what you want even if it’s out side of the norm. But also don’t n turn your wedding attire into a costume.
I think your mother needs a little tact and her comments about bridesmaids are rude, and discriminatory for lack of better word.
I urge you to really think the reason for the wedding and to not get to wrapped up or carried away with this theme. Good luck
Post # 8
@MrsWBS: I have to respectfully disagree with you about the “busting out a costume.” Isn’t that what a wedding is? I know, for sure, that I don’t walk around in a white wedding dress with full make-up and hair did, on a regular basis.. or at all. While the fairy wings wouldn’t be my thing for a wedding, it is totally up to her and her Fiance on what their vision for the day is.
And while a wedding is a serious event, it is also a celebration. Shoot, I’m having karoake at my wedding, and we will be singing the first song! To each their own, I say! 🙂
Post # 9
@mousebride: Check out offbeatbride.com
There are several weddings on there with fairy wings and they’re gorgeous! It does not take away from the seriousness of the wedding…it represents the two of you as a couple. Since when did clothing make someone serious or not?! God forbid someone crack a joke the whole day then…it might ruin the wedding!
And just so you know, FH and I are having a Victorian Steampunk wedding. We met onstage at the theatre and are both very artistic so it represents us perfectly.
Post # 10
Maybe I’m just a big weirdo, but wings seem normal to me, haha. Then again, I wore them in high school and go to renaissance faires, etc. Whatever.
I think your mom is being a bitch, personally, but, because you’re having a church wedding, the wings should wait until the reception. If you were having an outdoor ceremony, wing it up, but they’re going to look very out of place in a church, Zelda theme or not.
Post # 11
@mousebride: Don’t despair! Everyone has disagreements about the details of your special day.
It is YOUR day. You have to fight for your vision and have confidence that you are making the right choices for you and your Fiance. If you want wings, go for it.
However. As others have pointed out. A wedding is about joining families and making some compromises for the comfort and inclusion of both sides. Perhaps wings at the reception and not in a Catholic church? Is your mom contributing towards the cost of the wedding? If so, you should try to compromise and help her feel included.
Post # 12
@redness82: +1 If a bride shouldn’t wear a ‘costume’ then Alfred Angelo better stop selling all those Disney princess bridal gowns…because that’s EXACTLY what they are….dresses made to look like the princesses in the movie.
And on the train of thought…this is making me picture Drew Barrymore in Ever After…she was breathtaking!
Post # 13
HEY LISTEN! (in Navi’s voice, of course)
Obviously you are not “normal” so why should you be for one day just to please one person. You need to please yourself. Period. I would add and your fiance to the “You need to please yourself”, but he already likes your idea.
I disagree with the previous posters, but that is just me. If you and your fiance love to cosplay and make costumes. . . why not show it at your wedding? Other than at cons, where can you show that side?
Remember that this is a wedding between you and your fiance. If you look at it as a joining of two families, then your families should support the two of you in whatever you wish to do.
I look forward to seeing pictures of your wedding!
By the way. . . I just saw a beautiful wedding where the bride wore a grey dress with black fairy wings and it was stunning!
Post # 14
Wear what makes you feel pretty and do what makes you feel comfortable.
If your mother has an issue, just tell her that if she’s willing to pay, she can get a say.
Otherwise it’s your day, so do what makes you happy.
Post # 15
I would like to thank everybee for their point of view on this 🙂 it helps alot.
My mother’s comments were very rude and tactless, it did hurt my feelings what she said about my friends and my ideas.
I do agree that it sounds like a great compromise to wear them at the reception and not in the church. Would it had been an outside ceremony with an officiant I would of had them.
I do wear “out of the norm” clothes, have a purse with a werewolf, I’m far from being a “normal young woman” and that’s why my Fiance loves me so much. Because like him, I’m different.
My mother has accepted this, but apparently not when it’s wedding related.
I love my theme and do not think it takes away from the seriousness of what a wedding is. It is what we are and how we are and want it to be 🙂 I want to make oth families happy and both my Mother-In-Law and my mom are helping out in the planning.
I am sad that my ILs are mire supportive than my mother..maybe if she had said things with more tact.
@Luayne: A steam punk wedding, that is so cool 🙂 I’ll check out the link you gave
Post # 16
@mousebride: You will love it! I have so many ideas that came from that site and the boards are very supportive no matter what you decide to do. There are a lot of LGBT weddings or people in the bridal party as well so that might be helpful too…just remember to express yourself (meaning you and your FI) on your big day!