(Closed) My Mother in Law is THE WORST!!!

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am sorry you are having these issues.

The only thing that I can suggest is to sit down with your husband and have a serious talk with him, and then have him talk to his mother about what you decide, with you in the room, but not saying anything.

Post # 5
Member
1279 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

So she just moved in without asking? uhhh I would so not be having that! Was there a reason for this, can she afford her own place? I think you need to talk to your Fi about how unhappy you are about the situation.

Post # 6
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree with the previous posters, you REALLY need to sit down and talk to your FI about this situation.  You say that you see a “big, big issue” coming up, is that because you don’t think your FI is going to be on your side?  Coming from someone who has had a lot of MIL issues, it does not get easier with time, and she will not back off once you guys are married.  In my situation, it only got worse after we were married.  You and your FI need to sit down and work out a way to get on the same page and create a united front toward his mother…if that doesn’t happen now, and if he chooses her feelings over yours, I’d say thats a big red flag and you should probably start re-evaluating your relationship. No one wants to play second fiddle to the MIL.

Post # 7
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It’s time for a serious talk about boundaries. Having MIL over for extended visits without warning or an invitation is a serios no-go. You and your FI need to put on a united front and figure out some way to pry her out of your home without being too obvious. Maybe explain that your space will be filled with wedding stuff soon and will be very chaotic. Or you have some friends coming for a pre-scheduled visit on a specific date and ask her when she plans to leave so that you can prep for that visit.

Post # 8
Member
923 posts
Busy bee

JamaicaBride I totally agree with you. Boundaries are key. And having her stay for extended periods of time does not seem to be working for you. and you know what? That’s ok, because it is your house, your marriage, and your life. You don’t have to explain that to anyone, even your families.

check your messages, I sent you some infor that I think could really help you.

Post # 9
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

The best advice I’ve been given is that if you are going to marry a man, you better become #1 in his life.  He needs to put you first before family.  I would sit down and definitely talk about boundaries before the big day.  Set boundaries not only for her but for all family (like how long someone can stay at your house).  Good Luck, I know it’s hard.

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