Post # 1
MY MOTHER IN LAW IS THE WORST. She came to watch the kids for us for a weekend and has not left. Can you imagine? She is not that old. She does not want to do anything and always has sarcastic comments to make. Such as, You never heard of Vegas girl to just elope (then laughs) but I guess you say if you going to do it you may has well do it right ugh? Then she says you know I think whatever money I would have given towards your wedding I should take it and go to Jenny Craig and lose some weight. I think that would be a much better investment Just being a you know what. I am beyond frustrated. She contributes to nothing just watches tv and is on the computer all day while we go out and work like dogs..Its causing alot of problems between my fiance and me because he does not understand. I feel she should be in her own space. At least it would give us a chance. She is tied to him by the apron strings. He is her only child and she gets upset if we go upstairs early to be alone and if we are outside she calls and text multiple times its just frustrating. Help!!!
Post # 3
I am sorry you are having these issues.
The only thing that I can suggest is to sit down with your husband and have a serious talk with him, and then have him talk to his mother about what you decide, with you in the room, but not saying anything.
Post # 4
@noritake22:THANKS I THINK I WILL TRY THIS. BUT YOU KNOW HOW THEY’RE SO SENSITIVE ABOUT THEIR MOTHER. I SEE A BIG, BIG, ISSUE COMING UP AND MY WEDDING IS 3 AND HALF MONTHS AWAY…
Post # 5
So she just moved in without asking? uhhh I would so not be having that! Was there a reason for this, can she afford her own place? I think you need to talk to your Fi about how unhappy you are about the situation.
Post # 6
I agree with the previous posters, you REALLY need to sit down and talk to your FI about this situation. You say that you see a “big, big issue” coming up, is that because you don’t think your FI is going to be on your side? Coming from someone who has had a lot of MIL issues, it does not get easier with time, and she will not back off once you guys are married. In my situation, it only got worse after we were married. You and your FI need to sit down and work out a way to get on the same page and create a united front toward his mother…if that doesn’t happen now, and if he chooses her feelings over yours, I’d say thats a big red flag and you should probably start re-evaluating your relationship. No one wants to play second fiddle to the MIL.
Post # 7
It’s time for a serious talk about boundaries. Having MIL over for extended visits without warning or an invitation is a serios no-go. You and your FI need to put on a united front and figure out some way to pry her out of your home without being too obvious. Maybe explain that your space will be filled with wedding stuff soon and will be very chaotic. Or you have some friends coming for a pre-scheduled visit on a specific date and ask her when she plans to leave so that you can prep for that visit.
Post # 8
JamaicaBride I totally agree with you. Boundaries are key. And having her stay for extended periods of time does not seem to be working for you. and you know what? That’s ok, because it is your house, your marriage, and your life. You don’t have to explain that to anyone, even your families.
check your messages, I sent you some infor that I think could really help you.
Post # 9
The best advice I’ve been given is that if you are going to marry a man, you better become #1 in his life. He needs to put you first before family. I would sit down and definitely talk about boundaries before the big day. Set boundaries not only for her but for all family (like how long someone can stay at your house). Good Luck, I know it’s hard.
Post # 10
Thanks Ladies, I am really going to have a talk with him and see where it goes..I will keep you ladies posted. Thanks for the advice. It really helps to be able to talk about it..