- 4 years ago
Let me tell you how I’m feeling lately. Like shit.
I can’t talk to my mother because she is actually crazy. I mean.. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 3.5 years and she always talks about me meeting new guys and going out on dates because of the following reasons:
“He needs to shit or get off the pot.” or “He’s not going to marry you if he hasn’t asked yet.” or “He’s an asshole.” Let me tell you something. My boyfriend? He’s not an asshole. He’s maybe the nicest person I’ve ever met. He’s practically Jesus. He sees the good in ALL people, he’s incredibly forgiving, but maybe he’s not the best with etiquette or asskissing? My abusive exboyfriend used to buy my mother flowers all the time. She misses him. She CALLS AND WRITES HIM LETTERS.
Why does she like him? Not just the flowers, but because she loves seeing me suffering, she LOVED when I would come over after getting beat up. She’s a sociopath so I can’t deal with her. I told her about moving up our wedding date and she said to just stop talking to her about it because I was starting a new job and would probably meet someone else.
Her reason for not liking my guy? He doesn’t buy her flowers or write her letters from jail/rehab, I guess. He hasn’t proposed to me yet which she views as extremely noncommittal.
Then for my boyfriend. He’s busy right now. Incredibly busy. I feel like I’m single. He’s always studying or traveling and I hate it. I’m busy with school right now (I have a summer semester so I only have 2-3 weeks off between semesters) but that’s really it. We live in a condo so we don’t have a garden or anything I can occupy my time with. We also live in the country so I can’t do anything because nothing exists here. I mean, it takes me 45 minutes to get to the goddamn suburbs.
And as for friends… Again.. I went to high school/college in the country so everyone I met wasn’t really… my style… I’m a city girl and I’m sorry but sitting in a Jeep driving through rough terrain isn’t my idea of fun. All of my friends now are my boyfriend’s friends that he met in school that I met through him. I can’t really talk to them right now either because 1) They live super far away and 2) They’re not talk on the phone type of people.
I am just really REALLY alone right now, I have no one to talk to, no one to have coffee with, and other than school work, I have nothing to do on my own. I can’t even go visit my family, which is about a 6 hour drive, because they don’t have internet access and I wouldn’t be ale to do my school work (my college classes are online except for exams.)
This is mainly a rant/vent but I also have no idea what to do with my time right now. I don’t want to “meet new people” either because everyone here is actually really really stupid, not just “country” type people, but actually unintelligent. The highest math class in my HS was Pre-Calc and almost no one was in my class that year. I keep referring to high school, not because I just graduated, but those are the same people who still live here. No THANKS.