Post # 1
Just need to vent….My incredibly overly involved mother (by the way I’m 30) has decided that I’m completely wrong about something yet again. Granted, it’s my fault for telling her that I told my SO something which she now is furious at me for telling him. She claims it embarrases our family and I should never have told him. He doesn’t even care about these things and we have an open and honest relationship. I can’t go into detail about what I told him, but needless to say it was NOTHING bad, but because I come from a Persian background there’s a notion that we have to protect our family from being judged. My SO never judges me and it makes me SO angry that my mother thinks I’m stupid for telling him things. I just didn’t want him to later think that I was keeping something from him,
I know I shouldnt let this get to me but she really makes me so mad. Anyone experience this with family members ever?
Post # 3
No, I don’t have experience with it personally. But if it was me, I think I’d still tell my SO. I actually do have some deep, dark family secrets (they aren’t that bad, but not something our family is necessarily proud of) but my husband knows them. He is family and my confidante. It doesn’t sound like you’re going to get your mom to understand this, but maybe next time just don’t let on that he knows. She will cool down I’m sure.
Post # 4
I feel you girl, my mom drives me crazy too!
I don’t have the same background as you, but I don’t keep secrets from my fiance, period.
Post # 5
Ugh, sorry you’ve gotta deal with that!
I agree, you shouldn’t keep secrets, any kind, from someone you’re planning on marrying. There shouldn’t be any secrets between you.
My FI has told me his deep dark past (ok, well, I managed to figure part of it out without trying… or wanting to) and I accept it and don’t care. He knows all my dark dirty secrets (not as bad as his, though, lol) and I don’t care what he knows about my family. He also tells me stuff about his family.
And… if you’re going to be married… doesn’t that mean he’ll be a part of your family and in order to protect your family, he’ll need to know what you told him?
Maybe you could use something like that towards your mom?