Post # 1
My mom is kind of dense, I should probably know better by now, but obviously I don’t.
My mom is one of those people you have to spell it out for in most cases, she really doesn’t clue in to things well at all.
So she asks me the other day if she’d be more useful here before or after the wedding (she lives out of province) because she’s looking at flights etc.
I said before would be good, I’m sure I’ll need help getting some final things done.
Wedding is on the Saturday. She asks if Friday morning is soon enough!? I told her the rehearsal would be the Thursday so she should at least be here for that.
Yesterday, while I’m at work, she texts me dates and times for flights which I look at quickly and say sure that should be fine (my own fault – should have paid more attention).
What she has booked. She’s arriving at 3:10pm on the Thursday (day of rehearsal – keep in mind it will be at least 4pm before they have bags and can leave the airport). She’s leaving on the Monday at some time – hasn’t said when, sometime in the 3 days she’s here (keeping in mind all day Saturday she’ll be busy with the wedding) she’s planning on driving to visit her father in a city about 1.5 hours away (he may not get to the wedding, he’s 99 and may not be able to travel due to some medical issues).
Please don’t misunderstand me – I have no problem with her going to see her dad/my grandfather. I fully expected she would. But really – the trip is for my wedding, her oldest daughter, the first to get married. She wanted to come and help me but now she’s not going to be here?
It just makes me sad that she doesn’t want to be here for more time to spend with me.
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Maybe she needs you to spell this out for her! Just ask her if she’s thought through the timing?
Post # 4
@prahajess: it’s too late – she’s booked the ticket. She always does things like this. She wants answers immediately on HER schedule. She works weird shift work and she doesn’t understand that we can’t check our phones at all times of the day to have proper conversations (she can’t check hers at work, it has to be locked in her locker).
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
That’s a shame. 🙁
Still, I’d put it down to her spaciness or whatever you call it. It’s not about not wanting to spend time with you.
Post # 6
It could be she picked those flight times due to price. I know sometimes a morning flight is a couple hundred dollars more than a midday one, or going home a day earlier or later can save you big amounts of money.
Post # 7
@MsGinkgo: I’m confused… If she’s not leaving until Monday at 4pm, couldn’t she visit her dad Sunday or early Monday morning? And then still have all day Friday to help with wedding stuff? I guess I don’t see the conflict? Maybe I misread.
Post # 8
@Kings7911: I don’t know what time she’s leaving Monday, we’re also having a post wedding brunch on Sunday. I guess it’s just that she asked if I wanted her here to help, and now she’s showing up a day before the wedding, she’s not really going to be here to help.
I was just hoping I’d get to spend more time with my mom before my wedding.
(Forgot to mention…she’s going to California for 9 days before the wedding….)
Post # 9
@MsGinkgo: Maybe offer to pay the change fee on her ticket so she can come earlier? It’s usually not that much – although it depends on the airline.
Post # 10
@MsGinkgo: Ah, that makes more sense. Yeah she probably honestly didn’t realize how much help you need in the days leading up to the wedding. That is a bummer! But at least she’ll be there for 4-5 days!
Post # 11
that sucks, sometimes moms don’t really get that we want them even though we’re grown adults, getting married, etc. At least you will have her on Friday – hopefully she can wait until Sunday after the brunch to go visit her dad?