(Closed) My mother isn't coming to the wedding.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3825 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m so sorry this is happening to you 🙁

 

(((HUGS))) 

Post # 4
Member
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m so sorry, what an awful thing for her to do. 🙁 I looks like the good thing is that you found out now, so you won’t be upset on your wedding day if you had found out then. I know this doesn’t make it any easier, but it sounds like your wedding might be better off without her. Hopefully this is for the best! I’m still so sorry she did this. 🙁

Post # 5
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

I know she is your mom but really fuck her. It’s bad enough that she wasn’t going to come but to be a no show? That is totally shitty. This would infuriate me and I would be so angry I wouldn’t talk to her for a very long time. She sounds like a very selfish woman.

Post # 6
Member
9143 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I am sorry you have to deal with this now and in the future when people ask why your mom isn’t there and why she’s not in pictures.  She is being ridiculously selfish about this.  I don’t know that I could forgive my mom for doing something like that but I advise you to find some way to make peace with it.  Maybe comfort yourself in knowing that you found out now so you have time to get used to the idea and you know for sure that your mom won’t cause any more unnecessary drama on your wedding day.

Post # 7
Member
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

There is nothing worse in the world than having a parent incapable of showing you the love you deserve.  It is hard to deal with.  I know from experience, and years and years of therapy!  It is okay to feel sad, to feel angry, to feel a million different things.  I am sorry that you are dealing with this.  If anything positive comes from this relationship, I bet it will be that you are going to be a great mom one day, because you will have learned from your own mother’s mistakes.  

You should never feel stupid for giving her the “power” to hurt you.  You opened your heart, and just because you were hurt this time, doesn’t mean that maybe one day your mom will give you a little more.  It sounds like right now she’s incapable of giving you the support you need.  I’m glad you have an FI to go home to! 

Post # 9
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@dreamhazer:  Oh man this seriously sucks. It makes me sad reading about people’s difficult families! I don’t even know what to say other than ::hug::

Post # 10
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsTVLover: +1

@dreamhazer: I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. But at least you found out now instead of on your wedding day. Now you have time to get used to the idea and come to terms with your feelings. *hugs*

Post # 11
Member
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@dreamhazer:  I’m so sorry.  Your mother sounds like a horribly selfish woman.  I can’t imagine the type of person that would intentioally do a no show on her own daughter’s wedding day and dump a bunch of unanticipated problems in her lap! 

I have to ask – is your mother just that self-centered or mean or, I’m sorry, does she have a mental illness?

While I realize this is far easier said than done, I think if you want to keep your mother in your life, you will have to protect yourself by never, ever having any expectations of her and certainly not relying on her for anything.  That way, when she behaves decently, it will be a pleasant surprise and when she doesn’t, you will spare yourself the pain of dissapointment.

Good luck.

Post # 12
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Bazinga:  absolutely 1 billion percent agree.  I’d say fuck her too. Not coming, bad, no showing? Unforgivable.

Post # 13
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Wow. Sorry she let you down. Sounds like she has done it before. I hope that you have a wonderful wedding. I bet she will regret not coming.

Post # 14
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

Wow that is terrible! I am so sorry you are so hurt by this. Can you communicate to her how hurt you are by this action and how much it means for her to be there because it is your wedding after all.

Post # 16
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

So sorry you are having to deal with this… I guess better now than the day of for sure, but doesn’t make it any easier.

 

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