- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
My mother keeps making me feel bad. She seems to want me to have the most generic wedding of all time, so Every. Single. Thing. I mention that would show our personality she is doing stuff like rolling her eyes, saying “ok” in the most sarcastic possible way, trying to quote some hokey wedding tv show like it’s the law of the land that I couldn’t possible go against, etc.
For instance, I showed her some sample invitations I ordered online. They weren’t crazy, but they were flat printed with some color and design elements (think like purple text and a flowering tree sillhouette, or black background, white text, and stripes in the corners). I thought they were a little fun, but still pretty classy. And when I asked what she thought, she goes “if I received that in the mail, I wouldn’t even know what it was.” WTF??? A wedding invitation literally says it’s a wedding invitation right on it – that’s the whole point!!!
It was so rude! And I was like fine, what would you prefer? And she was like engraving. I explained what that costs and that we can’t afford it and asked what else she would like and she’s like “All I know is engraving.”
That is just a perfect example. She will say something nasty about my choice, but then she has NOTHING to offer as an alternative. I feel like she’s just plain being mean.
So far she has been mean about: invitations, colored shoes for me, a geeky groom’s cake, a cute cake topper, baby’s breath used in any capacity (she said it looked like tumbleweeds), colored table linens and colored napkins (she said “why don’t you get something pretty), our colors in general (she called them blah), calling our tables anything cute/funny, the fact that my FI and groomsmen will be wearing suspenders, that FI is wearing a suit not a tux, some of the ceremony music, etc.
Bees, I am having a VERY traditional wedding as far as I’m concerned. I’m wearing a big white ball gown, we’re getting married in a gorgeous museum with a sit down dinner, Chivari chairs and giant centerpieces. I’ve even got a freaking harp playing at the ceremony and seven bridesmaids.
And most of that stuff is SO GENERIC it could be a random wedding scene in a movie. So I want to do some stuff that reflects our personalities like have our recessional be the theme from Jurassic Park (which sounds AWESOME on the harp!), I want the groom’s cake to be a big D20 (d&d dice), and I was thinking our tables might be named after places from the movies/books/comics we like (Asgard, Gotham, Mordor, Westeros, Metropolis, etc.) I think our friends will think it’s awesome and older people will probably not notice most of it.
I just don’t even understand where she’s coming from. It’s like she has never met me instead of having known me for 30+ years. I found these cute dragon champagne flutes and she was like “you don’t want those, those are too Renaissance Faire.” I was like OMFG we literally have season tickets to the Rennaissance Faire!!! And SHE IS THE ONE WHO USED TO TAKE ME for the first 10+ years!
We do not have a relationship where I can sit her down and talk to her about my feelings. We come from a long line of people who sit around saying nasty things about each other around the dinner table and you are supposed to just bite your tongue while it happens. Even if I said something to her she wouldn’t change her behavior at all. It would just be super awkward and uncomfortable.
So I’m mostly just venting. She’s making me feel bad and I can’t wait till this is all over!!!