- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
A little background information:
My mom and I have always been close. I wouldn’t say ‘friends’ but we’ve always had a good relationship. But she has always been really lazy. As far back as I can remember I’ve been the one cleaning, cooking, and doing laundry for the entire family (8 people!) When I was working, going to school full-time with a two hour commute, I would still have to come home and cook dinner. And even took care of my sister when she was a baby (I was 10 when she was born). She has always bad-mouthed my dad (and they are married), to a point where I didn’t even really have a relationship with him. He is a public school teacher, and she has called him an idiot, telling him he can’t provide for the family, basically telling him he isn’t good enough.
We found out horrible information from my mom’s childhood dealing with her father. She cried for like a week straight and didn’t eat for like two weeks. After the two weeks, she was ‘ok’ and starting eating again.
My mom wound up in the hospital for severe dehydration because she claims she had a virus and wasn’t eating or drinking. She never threw up once though. They gave her a pain medication (I think) at the hospital which really messed up her breathing. There was one point when we really thought she was going to die. Next day, she is ‘paralyzed’ from her neck down. She tells us she had been diagnosed with ALS (we didn’t know because she ALWAYS kept medical information from us). She was in the hospital for a week until they moved her to a nursing home because my family had no knowledge of taking care of a paralyzed person.
While in the nursing home, she had appointment with doctor who she claimed diagnosed her with ALS. Come to find out she does NOT have ALS.
*A bit on the ALS. She is a member of the ALSforums.com where she chats with other people who have ALS or people who take care of ALS patients. She constantly was/is on it, and calls the strangers her friends. Gave them personal information (her real name, including last name, our address)
She was in the nursing home mid-November to a few days before Christmas. She wanted to come home, so my dad and I met with the people over discharging patients. This included social workers, therapists (that she had been seeing), nurses, and the doctor. They revealed to us that her paralysis was not real. The doctor said it was Conversion Disorder, which is a mental condition that can be brought on by sexual abuse, money troubles, bad marriages, etc. The therapists and nurses all agreed that is what it was. Though no one gave any advice on how to go from here.
She came home a few days before Christmas and as soon as she was wheeled in the door started bitching (her normal self). Thankfully since it was Christmas break my dad was off from school, so he was there to help. We didn’t say anything about the conversion disorder; we just went along with her paralysis.
A few days later, she asked for her phone to be brought into the room with her. We did and a few days later I was looking on it and found the history (she has a smart phone) and saw that the ALSforums was in the history for everyday since the phone was put in her room. My fiancé and I were going out one evening and before we could leave, I had to help my dad give her a bath. She said something to me, and I flipped out on her and said something about the ALSforums on the history. Of course, she denied it.
Other events that can’t happen with a paralyzed person:
Being put to bed on one side of the body, but being on the other later
Falling out of bed
She found a thermometer and put it in her mouth and claimed she could use it to push the buttons on her phone to text/call/get on web.
She had home health therapists come in for the first couple months (until our insurance wouldn’t cover it anymore). And these therapists also knew there is nothing physically wrong with her.
There would be times/still are times where she gets in her moods and refuses to eat or drink. We just ignore her, all she wants is attention.
She constantly tells me I do nothing. I freaking cook for 6 people, I do laundry, I clean, I take care of her. She is doing the same thing to me as she has done to my dad for the last 10 years.
This may sound horrible to some people, but my fiancé and I went to dinner one night and put a video camera in the hallway pointing into her room. While we were gone, she got up walked around got something to eat, went to the bathroom. I still have this video, but she doesn’t know about it.
After the Dr. said she didn’t have ALS she went back to another diagnosis she had gotten from another doctor, a type of muscular dystrophy. I told him about the video in private, and he told me “after I get married, my fiancé and I need to move to another state, and cut all ties with my mother”. I sent him a copy of the video and he was going to show my mother, but she wound up cancelling the appointment and hasn’t made another one. Probably because he wasn’t telling her what she wanted to hear anymore.
She owes thousands and thousands of dollars in doctor bills, hospital bills, therapy bills. She will probably make my father go bankrupt. And she is now planning on going to the Mayo Clinic in Florida. Though every time she gets mail from there, my dad throws it away.
*one more thing about the nonsense ALS issue. She still gets on it, talks with strangers, tells personal information, gives advice to other people about having ALS, tells lies, now using ANOTHER screen name, which she doesn’t know we know about it.
If you’ve read the whole thing, thank you for sticking with me, I know it was long. I am about to the point of being emotionally drained. Planning my wedding should be a happy point in my life, but it’s not because of my mother. If anyone is going to comment, just make it positive, I can’t really deal with anymore negative in my life.